Scarleteen

I'm in a long term relationship that's very supportive and with a guy that I can honestly say has become my best friend. We decided that we were ready to have sex together about a month and a half ago and honestly, it brought us so much closer. However, as much as I enjoy being that connected to him, I also have suffered from pretty severe anxiety since I was a baby. I take the pill at about the same time every morning and have not missed a single one nor done anything to counteract it's effectiveness. My boyfriend and I also use condoms and have had no issues with them at all. Not to be graphic but, he has a very hard time ejaculating so he hasn't even ejaculated inside me yet. I've had my periods come on my sugar pills like clockwork and just to help ease my mind, I've taken two pregnancy tests. I know I am very very much so not at all pregnant. Yet, I still tend to worry that I will be that literal one in a million in the future. My boyfriends aunt and family are all very supportive of me and his aunt is an OBG/YN and has helped me out with every question and concern that I have. I know it's nearly impossible to get pregnant, but I get so paranoid that I will get pregnant. Ive been told that it will take some time to adjust to trusting my contraception but I was wondering if anyone has any ideas or ways to help calm myself down over this nearly impossible thing. What should I do to help ease my mind? I know I'm being ridiculous but I still keep worrying.

Hi Jellyfish,

One starting place is: are you currently seeing someone for your anxiety? I know we've spoken about you looking for a counselor previously, so have you had any luck finding one?

Another thing that might be helpful is this article: You're Not Pregnant. Why Do You think You Are? . It sounds like you've identified at least one possible culprit (anxiety), but this piece can help you think about whether there are other sources of this fear hanging around.

My parents want me to start seeing someone about biofeedback therapy, should that help with anxiety?

It may. If you go in to consult about that therapy (or any other kind of treatment), you can ask about what the intended and expected result of it is. Even if you go in for biofeedback, you may still want to look into counseling where you have a space to process your emotions and fears attached to your anxiety, as that can help you get at some of the possible root-causes of it.

Thank you! My mom accepted my offer to find a counselor and I'm nervous but looking forward to starting again. Should this help ease my irrationalness about getting pregnant?

Hopefully it will! Part of treating anxiety is helping to reduce the number or severity of anxious thoughts that you have, but another part of it is learning how to handle them if and when they do appear. If you feel like your counselor's approach isn't working, it's ok to say that; they're there to help you, and not every strategy will work for every person.

Thank you! I talked to my partner and we agreeed it would be best to abstain from any form of sex that could result in a pregnancy for now because of how anxious I've gotten. I really do hope this works though because I would like to continue that part of our relationship without so much worry.

That sounds like a good strategy for now! Sex is something that should feel great not just in the moment, but afterwards; when it's causing you a lot of stress it can be best to just take a break for a bit. I hope you can find some good ways to combat your anxiety soon.