Scarleteen

Like, I know I have had severe depression, and back then I was pretty much empty. And I feel like I still am empty because I'm not always crying when I'm severely upset, maybe it's just me letting my mother get into my head again, but I feel like I'm still suffering from it even though I've made a significant recovery. (Although, I also suppress my emotions around her to avoid them being exploited.)

Hi Kittypink,

I think it might help to think of crying as something that happens to be some people's automatic sad reaction, while for other people it just isn't as automatic. There's nothing wrong with being someone who doesn't cry easily. With depression especially it's not a good indicator of how someone is doing. Some people describe feeling blank or empty, rather than crying constantly, in the moments where their depression was the strongest.

When you say you think this may be your mom getting into your head, can you tell me a little more about what you mean?

Sam W wrote:Hi Kittypink,

I think it might help to think of crying as something that happens to be some people's automatic sad reaction, while for other people it just isn't as automatic. There's nothing wrong with being someone who doesn't cry easily. With depression especially it's not a good indicator of how someone is doing. Some people describe feeling blank or empty, rather than crying constantly, in the moments where their depression was the strongest.

When you say you think this may be your mom getting into your head, can you tell me a little more about what you mean?

Well, she's saying I'm still severely depressed as I was back then, and I'm not getting "proper treatment."
She's also making it out that I'm not trans and rather just ashamed with being an "emotional boy", because I try to suppress my emotions around her because they were used against me at one point.

I wonder, what does she consider "proper treatment?" And how do you feel your treatment for depression is working right now? Do you want it to change or are you pretty satisfied?

With the emotional boy comment, as much as possible try to put that aside with all the other nonsense she says trying to invalidate your identity. Or are her comments about your emotional level making you feel like you're somehow doing your gender "wrong?"

Sam W wrote:I wonder, what does she consider "proper treatment?" And how do you feel your treatment for depression is working right now? Do you want it to change or are you pretty satisfied?

With the emotional boy comment, as much as possible try to put that aside with all the other nonsense she says trying to invalidate your identity. Or are her comments about your emotional level making you feel like you're somehow doing your gender "wrong?"

I'm satisfied with my care that is working. A lot of the depression was because of dysphoria, plus her calling me a liar, selfish and a bunch of other nasty things as well as some other stuff that was going on as well as the fact I was still figuring myself out.

Happy to hear that you are feeling good with your mental health care--ultimately that is what matters: whether or not you feel it is helping! And as always, I'm sorry to hear about the ways your mom has invalidated your identity and said really mean, hurtful things to you