Scarleteen

I'd like to keep this brief and seek advice. I'm a male. I'm an exchange student in a foreign country. There's a female classfellow of mine who is married. I always thought she's hot. Just recently, I learned that she's attracted to me too. We got to talking and I learned that she is more into me than I thought I was into her. We've been texting all the time the past couple of days. She wants to meet up and hang out, and I want the same too. But we both know that that can lead to things getting more intimate and she may end up cheating. She knows that too because she is being sneaky and all, trying to make sure her husband doesn't find out. I'll be here for a couple of months only and then I'll go back home for good and I'm pretty sure we'll never see each other again.

What do I do? I want to spend time with her and all. I think about her all the time and from things she says it looks like shes going pretty crazy too. I am 99% sure if we meet, things will escalate for sure. The only way I can prevent that from happening is if I don't meet her at all and stop talking to her altogether. I am really scared of karma. If I let a married girl cheat her husband, would it happen to me too in the future?

Should I just spend some good time with her (which includes sleeping) and then part ways or should I just not let things progress and tell her that its not right and we should not continue talking?

Welcome to the boards.

It's usually not a good idea to get sexually or romantically involved with anyone who's supposed to have a monogamous commitment to someone else. Putting everything else aside for a moment, those kinds of situations nearly always get way, way more complicated that anyone involved could predict, and the potential for everyone involved to get very hurt is very high indeed.

Too, someone who's cheating is breaking an important agreement with a person they're supposed to be close to and care about, and is deceiving a person they're supposed to care about. That's not a good recommendation of the kind of person the cheater is, at least at that point in their life. Someone who's behaving with disrespect and deception to one partner is demonstrating one major way in which they're currently a very poor partner, to anybody, because a good partner isn't disrespectful or deceptive.

I think it's worth asking yourself a few things first.

What do you believe about cheating, and how does it fit - or not - with your ethical beliefs? How would you feel about yourself if you were a part of someone else's (hers) cheating?
Most basically, do you believe it's wrong? As a pretty much all-humans thing, people tend to feel some combination of unhappy, uncomfortable and anxious, long-term, when they're doing something that they believe is wrong. Maybe they feel fine - or even great - in the moment, but overall they feel not-good and may regret it later.

What do you actually want from this relationship with her?
And, does what you want fit with reality? Even if you wished she wasn't, she is married. People sometimes imagine a perfect, exciting, time-limited fling, but the reality is fairly unlikely to be like that. Being someone's secret might not be carefree or exciting: it might be lonely, frustrating, or simply drudgery if you're always second to her other life and always having to work around the limitations of her keeping a secret from her husband. Keep in mind, too, that sometimes part of the appeal of a situation like this is that the other person seemed unattainable, or that sneaking around seems exciting. Might those be part of the picture for you?

Are you prepared to live with the consequences if her husband or other people find out?
Because people sometimes do find out. It's a realistic possibility.