Annoyed by canceled plans

[Introvert]

I get very annoyed because there's been several times when my bf and I plan a date and then he forgets to come or he's said he'll call me at a certain time but then doesn't call. Every time I pretend it doesn't bother me but it actually does and I'm wondering if I should say something to him about it but I don't know how.

[Heather]

I say it was never a good idea to pretend something that does bother you a lot doesn't. So, by all means, I would suggest you talk to him.

It's hardly unreasonable to ask anyone -- anyone at all -- to be generally on time and to cancel when they can't or don't want to make it to any plans they've made with a person. This is just common courtesy.

When you say you don't know how, can you explain more? How would you, for example, talk to a friend about this? Or a family member?

[Introvert]

Thanks. I guess I'm just afraid of hurting his feelings. Plus I know it's not always his fault since he doesn't have a phone and sometimes has work issues that come up, but I just want to tell him I would appreciate if he could tell me so I'm not waiting for him. I guess I should just tell him it makes me feel kind of unappreciated. I've never really had this problem with family or friends before since I'm a total introvert and don't hang out with many people, only a few close friends.

[Heather]

Well, you can make clear that you're not talking about things outside of his control, but only what he CAN control.

Again, in my book, this is basic common courtesy, so I wouldn't overthink it. I'd just be mellow about it and talk about it like you did here.