Scarleteen

Just wondering, how hard is it to give oral if you have a strong gag reflex? Can you "train" yourself not to have one?

Most people have a gag reflex. It's one of the automatic nervous system responses that the body has in order to do something useful or essential for us: for the gag reflex, to help keep things away from the throat that aren't supposed to be there, to help prevent us choking on something or swallowing something we're not supposed to swallow.

Usually, the gag reflex is only activated when something is on or near the back of the throat. So, there are lots of ways of using the mouth, lips and tongue for oral sex, on all kinds of body parts, that won't involve any gag reflex.

Some people find it possible to train themself out of having some gag reflex, but there's really no need unless someone was struggling with things like brushing their teeth.

In the world in general, it's pretty common to find things that say that it's "better" to be able to put a penis deep into the mouth or throat during oral sex, and people sometimes talk about it as if it's some kind of magic Holy Grail of oral sex. Maybe you've heard some of those kinds of things? It's more hype and fantasy than it is reality. Most penises are longer than anyone's mouth, so for mouth-penis sex, people just generally aren't going to have the whole length of the penis (or even close to it!) in the mouth. Just like any kind of sex, there are lots of different ways for both partners to do it and enjoy it (or perhaps, not enjoy and not do: some people don't like and don't do oral sex, and that's fine). Definitely nobody needs to be uncomfortable or to try to make their body behave differently than it already does!

Thanks! Yeah, I guess I just heard about people mentioning going "deep" with oral sex and I wasn't sure how feasible that was. And I should've said if someone had a stronger gag reflex since of course most people have them, though a "strong" gag reflex is relative now that I think about it.

The idea of deep throating is one of those things that some people can do, but for others is simply a no-go no matter what they do. It depends a lot on just how sensitive a gag reflex is, as well as on how comfortable the person is with the action overall.

The only thing l do is oral. If the guy is nice and not pushy you can learn to get it past that gag spot. Practice with a bananna alone w no pressure and no one around.

Exhibitistagirl is right that some people can learn to lessen their gag reflex with practice. But, again, that's only something to try if it's genuinely something you're interested in doing, not something to learn how to do because you feel like you should be able to do it (I point this out because deep throating is one of those sex acts that pops up as something people think of as a skill they must have and that they're doing sex "wrong" if they can't or don't want to do it).

I guess just as someone who's never engaged in partnered sex before I feel kinda ignorant about these kind of topics. But I'm sure I'll learn more once it actually happens instead of wondering. Thanks again

I do think a lot of aspects of partnered sex make more sense once you're interacting with another person and able to talk with them about what they like (or explore together to find out, if they don't yet know either).