Scarleteen is closed for the next two days, so that's Thursday, October 31st (for Halloween) and Friday, November 1st (for Diwali). We'll be back and able to answer your questions on Saturday. Catch you soon!
Can you give oral if you have a gag reflex?
-
- not a newbie
- Posts: 181
- Joined: Wed May 03, 2017 10:07 am
- Age: 27
- Awesomeness Quotient: I’m pretty smart
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: She/her
- Sexual identity: Bisexual
- Location: North Carolina
Can you give oral if you have a gag reflex?
Just wondering, how hard is it to give oral if you have a strong gag reflex? Can you "train" yourself not to have one?
"The writer is by nature a dreamer - a conscious dreamer."
-Carson McCullers
-Carson McCullers
-
- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 1281
- Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 11:33 am
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: they/them or she/her
- Sexual identity: bisexual/queer/pansexual
- Location: Europe
Re: Can you give oral if you have a gag reflex?
Most people have a gag reflex. It's one of the automatic nervous system responses that the body has in order to do something useful or essential for us: for the gag reflex, to help keep things away from the throat that aren't supposed to be there, to help prevent us choking on something or swallowing something we're not supposed to swallow.
Usually, the gag reflex is only activated when something is on or near the back of the throat. So, there are lots of ways of using the mouth, lips and tongue for oral sex, on all kinds of body parts, that won't involve any gag reflex.
Some people find it possible to train themself out of having some gag reflex, but there's really no need unless someone was struggling with things like brushing their teeth.
In the world in general, it's pretty common to find things that say that it's "better" to be able to put a penis deep into the mouth or throat during oral sex, and people sometimes talk about it as if it's some kind of magic Holy Grail of oral sex. Maybe you've heard some of those kinds of things? It's more hype and fantasy than it is reality. Most penises are longer than anyone's mouth, so for mouth-penis sex, people just generally aren't going to have the whole length of the penis (or even close to it!) in the mouth. Just like any kind of sex, there are lots of different ways for both partners to do it and enjoy it (or perhaps, not enjoy and not do: some people don't like and don't do oral sex, and that's fine). Definitely nobody needs to be uncomfortable or to try to make their body behave differently than it already does!
Usually, the gag reflex is only activated when something is on or near the back of the throat. So, there are lots of ways of using the mouth, lips and tongue for oral sex, on all kinds of body parts, that won't involve any gag reflex.
Some people find it possible to train themself out of having some gag reflex, but there's really no need unless someone was struggling with things like brushing their teeth.
In the world in general, it's pretty common to find things that say that it's "better" to be able to put a penis deep into the mouth or throat during oral sex, and people sometimes talk about it as if it's some kind of magic Holy Grail of oral sex. Maybe you've heard some of those kinds of things? It's more hype and fantasy than it is reality. Most penises are longer than anyone's mouth, so for mouth-penis sex, people just generally aren't going to have the whole length of the penis (or even close to it!) in the mouth. Just like any kind of sex, there are lots of different ways for both partners to do it and enjoy it (or perhaps, not enjoy and not do: some people don't like and don't do oral sex, and that's fine). Definitely nobody needs to be uncomfortable or to try to make their body behave differently than it already does!
The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.
-
- not a newbie
- Posts: 181
- Joined: Wed May 03, 2017 10:07 am
- Age: 27
- Awesomeness Quotient: I’m pretty smart
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: She/her
- Sexual identity: Bisexual
- Location: North Carolina
Re: Can you give oral if you have a gag reflex?
Thanks! Yeah, I guess I just heard about people mentioning going "deep" with oral sex and I wasn't sure how feasible that was. And I should've said if someone had a stronger gag reflex since of course most people have them, though a "strong" gag reflex is relative now that I think about it.
"The writer is by nature a dreamer - a conscious dreamer."
-Carson McCullers
-Carson McCullers
-
- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 10320
- Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
- Age: 33
- Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Coast
Re: Can you give oral if you have a gag reflex?
The idea of deep throating is one of those things that some people can do, but for others is simply a no-go no matter what they do. It depends a lot on just how sensitive a gag reflex is, as well as on how comfortable the person is with the action overall.
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
-
- newbie
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Sat Jun 03, 2017 2:52 am
- Age: 20
- Awesomeness Quotient: Im the 1st one in the water not shy and kewl
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: She-Me-Her or nickname Kat
- Sexual identity: Straight bi a little
- Location: Usa
Re: Can you give oral if you have a gag reflex?
The only thing l do is oral. If the guy is nice and not pushy you can learn to get it past that gag spot. Practice with a bananna alone w no pressure and no one around.
-
- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 10320
- Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
- Age: 33
- Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Coast
Re: Can you give oral if you have a gag reflex?
Exhibitistagirl is right that some people can learn to lessen their gag reflex with practice. But, again, that's only something to try if it's genuinely something you're interested in doing, not something to learn how to do because you feel like you should be able to do it (I point this out because deep throating is one of those sex acts that pops up as something people think of as a skill they must have and that they're doing sex "wrong" if they can't or don't want to do it).
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
-
- not a newbie
- Posts: 181
- Joined: Wed May 03, 2017 10:07 am
- Age: 27
- Awesomeness Quotient: I’m pretty smart
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: She/her
- Sexual identity: Bisexual
- Location: North Carolina
Re: Can you give oral if you have a gag reflex?
I guess just as someone who's never engaged in partnered sex before I feel kinda ignorant about these kind of topics. But I'm sure I'll learn more once it actually happens instead of wondering. Thanks again
"The writer is by nature a dreamer - a conscious dreamer."
-Carson McCullers
-Carson McCullers
-
- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 2287
- Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 2:57 pm
- Awesomeness Quotient: I'm always wearing seriously fancy nail polish.
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: he/him, they/them
- Sexual identity: queer/bisexual
Re: Can you give oral if you have a gag reflex?
I do think a lot of aspects of partnered sex make more sense once you're interacting with another person and able to talk with them about what they like (or explore together to find out, if they don't yet know either).
-
- Similar Topics
- Replies
- Views
- Last post
-
- 2 Replies
- 16022 Views
-
Last post by Latha
Sun Nov 19, 2023 2:51 am
-
- 1 Replies
- 2977 Views
-
Last post by Willa
Wed Feb 28, 2024 8:16 am
-
-
New post Throat Infection from Oral or Coincidence?
by seuniemonki » Tue Apr 23, 2024 6:46 am » in Got Questions? Get Answers. - 3 Replies
- 14886 Views
-
Last post by Sam W
Thu Apr 25, 2024 7:49 am
-
-
-
New post Oral sex - sensory issues and health anxiety??
by anonym05 » Sat Apr 27, 2024 3:52 pm » in Sex & Sexuality - 1 Replies
- 7110 Views
-
Last post by Latha
Sun Apr 28, 2024 1:55 am
-
-
-
New post Oral Masturbation Question and How to Manage Transmed Beliefs?
by SparkleQueen26 » Thu May 23, 2024 8:24 pm » in Ask Us! - 4 Replies
- 6653 Views
-
Last post by Sam W
Mon May 27, 2024 7:49 am
-