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sending porn to each other?

Posted: Wed Jun 07, 2017 11:38 am
by bikinksterboy
for quite a while now, my partner and I have occasionally consensually shared porn with each other on the messaging apps we use, and it's been a positive, bonding experience as we both discuss what each image is before and after it's sent, when is an appropriate time, asking before showing, and the like. Is there anything wrong with this/potential issues? anyone is welcome to give their take

Re: sending porn to each other?

Posted: Wed Jun 07, 2017 1:21 pm
by Confused_Pan
In my opinion, as long as you and your partner are ok with it and are both being secure and safe, then I see no harm in it. Also is it adult pornography or your own nudes? Either way, please don't feel guilty, but this is illegal under 18. I feel bad for pointing out, but if you are under 18, it's illegal to share around nudity, and especially with minors (under 18). But aside from that, I see no harm in it if you trust each other and ask beforehand and if you are both comfortable with it. Please don't feel bad.

Re: sending porn to each other?

Posted: Sat Jul 08, 2017 6:53 am
by Kristy
I agree with Confused_Pan; this has a couple of layers to it.
In terms of your relationship, it seems to be something that really works for you two, and that's great! It's not wrong/bad to send porn as long as everyone is consenting--which you are, so that's all good.
In terms of issues, like Confused_Pan said, if you're under 18 or the porn/nudes are of people under 18, this can be a big problem. Either of you could get busted for possessing child porn, distributing child porn, or distributing porn to a minor--and any of those could land you on a sex offender's list. Not great.
In addition, if you live with your parent/parents/other guardian(s), you might run into problems with them if they find out what's on the messaging apps and don't approve. Make sure you keep your apps password protected and put up a few digital roadblocks if you feel the need to keep it private from your guardian(s). But I'd also suggest to be prepared with your response to the question "what if my parents find out?" I believe that you have a right to privacy in your relationship and what consensual things you two do are your business, but it's possible your parents feel they have the right to know and they might see you as sneaking around. I also know that the best way to handle upset parents who feel deceived is to have a pre-planned response instead of a panicked, in-the-moment reaction that may not smoothe things over or make it better.
Also, it could get really sticky if there are younger siblings/cousins/other growing humans in the house who might get a hold of your phone/computer and find your porn. Again, digital roadblocks are a good idea, and do what you can to make sure they aren't on your devices when you're not around.
Hope this helps!