Scarleteen

Hi,
I'm a 16 year old girl and questioning if I'm lesbian, I've been researching a lot online lately. I find some boys attractive, however the thought of having sex with a boy seems disgusting to me. I find girls attractive and could see myself being intimidate with one.
I kinda think I'm lesbian, but I don't want to tell my parents and it ends up being false.

Thank you!

Hi, treehugger99!

Sexuality is really a personal thing. There's no way to "prove" if you're gay/bi/etc. It depends on how the individual feels and what they feel personally fits them as a label. What I'm trying to say is there's no way you could be "wrong" about being a lesbian. If you feel that label fits you then you're lesbian! And if that changes that's okay too - sexuality is on a spectrum and for many people it's fluid. Sometimes I feel like I may be attracted to men and women every now and then, other times I just feel attracted to men. And that's okay! Sexuality doesn't have to be fixed.

If you're not sure lesbian fits your sexual identity you could always leave it open, choose queer as a label (which is pretty open ended from what I've read), don't label yourself, etc. If you have any friends who identify as lesbian you could always talk to them; not that they can tell you but perhaps it will help you decide if you feel that label is right for you or not.

I know labeling is important to us and when we don't have one, we can feel lost. But a lot of people don't fit neatly into one label. And it's okay for you not to know which one you like this time, or if it changes. I'm 20 and I still am not sure if I fully identify as heterosexual, and I know there are people older than us who don't, either. And just keep in mind that at the end of the day, you'll still be you, regardless of your sexual orientation. It's one of the many aspects of who you are.

Hi treehugger,

To add on to the writ3r's excellent advice, this article might give you a starting point to help think about what terms, if any, feel like they apply to you: The Rainbow Connection: Orientation for Everyone