Scarleteen

I've read that 80-90% of Americans have oral herpes. Is that true? And if so why is it so common?

80-90% is a bit of a high estimate, but oral herpes is very common! Many people don't know they have it, and it's fairly easy to transmit to others through casual contact like kissing, so that's a combination that can result in a large number of people having it.
Our article about herpes has more info that you may find helpful: The STI Files: Herpes

Thanks for the article. I guess I should have said the adult population but that's still pretty high. I was just wondering because a while back I had a sore on my mouth that I was eventually able to get rid of with something OTC but when I looked it up oral herpes kept coming up. Before I was confused and doubted that I had it because I've never had sex with anyone, but I'm seeing now that herpes doesn't just spread through sexual contact. Even if I don't have it there's still a good chance I could get it someday, right? So besides safe sex when engaging in add, is there a way to protect against it from non-sexual encounters? Or is it just basic hand washing after you touch something that may be infected?

Hand washing is a big one. Another is to avoid sharing drinks with people.

I think my problem is that I'm freaking out that I could have had herpes or can very likely get them in the future but I know it's not as bad as I make it out to be.

It's not surprising some part of your brain is freaking out at the prospect, because herpes is still pretty stigmatized. Have you ever read the work of Ella Dawson? She and another author named LaChrista Greco have done a lot of writing about herpes and how having it is not the end of the world.

I didn't but I just looked it up and I really like Ella's perspective on things. It's just a constant reminder to me to be less judgemental in my attitudes towards sex, which I'm still trying to get out of but apparently I still has some biases. Every time I hear STI/STDs I always think about people saying being responsible and that somehow they weren't if they got one anyway but that doesn't mean they weren't and they could still get one anyway. I think if I start being more accepting towards my own sexuality I'll be more open to others instead of making judgements about who they are just because of how they like sex.
I just realized my feelings towards herpes was deeper than just "I don't want to get infected", it's the thinking that if I do it's somehow my fault but now I know that's not the case. I haven't watched the video yet but I really like how she titled it that STIs aren't consequences of sex but more inevitable and I think that's a lot better of perspective on things that takes away a lot of the judgements of sex.

Anyway I didn't mean for that to be so long Thanks for listening and giving advice, as always

You're welcome, and I'm glad you found Ella's stuff helpful

Hey the writ3r, I'm sure this came up when you Googled Ella Dawson, but just in case it didn't - her Ted Talk is one of my favorite resources on destigmatizing herpes and other STIs. Check it out:http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/e ... f53e3661a5.

Hope it helps!