Scarleteen

Hello,
I'm a 13 year old male. I occasionally get sexually aroused and get an erection, and if I'm in my room, I'll masturbate. The only problem is, I don't get any pleasure or an orgasm from doing it. It's just, nothing. I use my spit as a 'lubricant' but that doesn't help. Is this normal?

Would you say you feel a real desire to be sexual at these times, or more that you are just doing it because you think you should or have to?

If the desire is there, are you doing what feels good to you, or exploring different things to find out what that is? What about what's going on in your head: are you enjoying whatever you are thinking about at the time?

Yes, I feel a desire to be sexual at those times and I am doing what I think should feel good, but I can't really feel any pleasure.

How much would you say you experiment with different ways of masturbating? For instance, if you're doing something you feel should work but isn't, what do you do?

I don't really experiment, it's just the same 'get an erection, lie down and begin'.
And if I'm doing something that isn't working, I keep trying but eventually I just give up.
The only time I ever got any pleasure was when I stroked my finger over the head of my penis, there was a slight tingle of pleasure but nothing after that.

Do you have interest in experimenting more to see if you can't find ways of masturbating you do like a lot or reach orgasm during? I ask because it's sounding like you're feeling pretty apathetic about it. If I have that right, it's not going to make much sense to suggest you experiment some more, because if this isn't something you actually strongly want to do, why do it at all?

This might sound silly, because to some people it's super-obvious, but you do know that you don't have to masturbate (or have any kind of sex) if you don't really want to, right? Erections come and go, as do feelings of arousal, so even if those are ways of being you don't want to stick in for too long, so you're masturbating because of that, you can just wait it out and it all passes pretty quickly.

If I'm reading this wrong, or you feel apathetic but not so much so you don't want to explore this more, holler, and I'll talk about that.