Asking a coworker out

[sugar23]

I've got a lot of emotions and things weighing on my mind right now, mainly because I have a huge crush on one of my coworkers, and I haven't felt this strongly about a guy in a long long time. The thing is....he probably has no clue that I like him and I'm trying my best to drop hints.

Anyways, we've been working together now for about 2 months at our university, and I see him a few times a week when we work together. I've been trying to strike up conversations and dress much nicer than I usually do to get his attention. However, he seems kinda shy and quiet, so I'm having a hard time gauging his reactions to things. And of course, I've been overthinking it all like crazy, to the point where my anxiety has been ramped up, I'm having trouble sleeping, and I've lost my normal appetite.

I want to ask him out- I even know how I want to do it, but I don't know if it's the right time or not. I'll be working with him a lot the next 2 weeks, but after that, I'll be away from work for about 3 weeks for vacation. I'm worried he'll say no because he doesn't know me well enough, but I feel like I need to get this off my chest. My mindset is is that if I ask him before my break and he says no, at least I'll have time to get over it by the time I see him again when I'm back.

Side note- I also heavily embarrassed myself yesterday at work my getting overly excited about news of an upcoming concert I had found out about. I was also not at 100% and ended up asking for help on obvious stuff and being clumsy. I feel like I'm too intense for my own good.

[sdnthegirl]

First off, you might want to look into your job's policies on dating in the workplace. Some places are okay with it, others have restrictions, and for some it's not allowed at all. If you don't know the policy, you could put both of your jobs in jeopardy and that's probably not a great first impression for your crush.

It seems like a lot of the anxiety you're feeling is coming from not knowing what his reaction will be. Unfortunately, we can't control other people's responses and reactions. We can only control ourselves.

There is some risk involved with asking someone out. They could say yes or they could say no or they could say something entirely different! There are endless possibilities. One thing you could try is writing down what the absolute best and worst possible outcomes could be. Now that you have those, try writing down the more likely outcomes.

For example, if you go to the beach the best possible outcome might be that you stumble into a beach paradise festival and are crowned Mermaid Princess for the day. The worst possible outcome is that your left arm is eaten by a shark. But the more likely outcomes are that you'll have fun relaxing on the sand and you might end up with a sunburn. There are endless possibilities in life and we can't control everything, but sometimes we can anticipate some of the negative outcomes and prepare for them and that can make us feel better.

It can be easy to get wrapped up in a crush, but don't forget to take care of yourself. Whether or not you decide to ask this guy out and whether or not he reciprocates, you still have to live with you. Love yourself first.

[No121212]

You say that you're worried that he'll say no because he doesn't know you very well, but part of the fun of going out is getting to know the other person better! Think of it this way, you know him well enough to know that you'd like to hang out outside of work -- if he's shy, this might be the perfect way for him to get to talk to you. Good luck, and I hope your nervous jitters are replaced by butterflies soon!