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What body part could you make peace with to improve your life?

Questions and discussions about your bodies and their parts.
Heather
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What body part could you make peace with to improve your life?

Unread post by Heather »

Sometimes, having hard feelings about our bodies, or parts of our bodies, can keep us from living our lives full-stop, or doing things with them we want to do.

For instance, maybe you want to do something during the warm seasons that's a lot less easy or fun if you feel like a part of your body has to be covered OR ELSE. Or maybe you have the opportunity for a great sexual relationship and want one, but your own lack of acceptance of a body part that would be part of sex with a partner stands in your way. Maybe you want to go out for the swim team, but that means a bathing suit, and your body, or body part, hate or fear keeps you from it. Or maybe you just find that with a lot of your life, you start to enjoy yourself doing a range of things, only to often have those things interrupted by body worries or insecurities.

It can help with things like this to start small. After all, turning a lack of peace with a whole body around overnight just isn't likely to be a thing anyone can manage, especially since most of the time, by the time we get to any kind of big-time yuck with our bodies or their parts, we've gotten there due to years of background -- from others but also ourselves -- in creating those feelings.

If any of this rings true for you, how about picking just one part of your body to start trying to make some peace with, a part where making that peace could really open up your life and world for you in some pretty big ways?

What is that part? And what could making peace with it offer you?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
just18someone
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Re: What body part could you make peace with to improve your life?

Unread post by just18someone »

Well, I've always wanted to make peace with my breasts. They are quite small, a size B to be precise, and making peace with it would be really nice. I'd be able to accept that people who are interested in me, especially males, actually like me regardless of my size and aren't lying to me about it out of pity. I'd be able to be more confident about my appearance and would be able to pull off and wear more attention grabbing outfits, rather than my preferred over-sized T-shirt and jeans combo(although there's nothing wrong with that either :P). Also, when mean big breasted women decide to subtly tease me about my size I'd be able to come up with an awesome response which would be pretty neat too.
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
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Re: What body part could you make peace with to improve your life?

Unread post by Heather »

(I don't know what the situation is in which people with larger breasts are teaching you, but if you'd like some help knowing how to best respond to that or any other kind of teasing, I'd certainly be glad to help out.)
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
just18someone
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Re: What body part could you make peace with to improve your life?

Unread post by just18someone »

(Actually I'm quite used to it and it doesn't affect me much. But it would be fun to banter about it other than just gloating about being able to sleep on my stomach. :lol: Thank you for being concerned though :) )
Sam W
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Re: What body part could you make peace with to improve your life?

Unread post by Sam W »

I've actually been finding I need to make peace with my belly. For some reason I've had a flare up of feeling like it's "too pudgy" (which is silly on several levels). So I've bought some fun clothes that are mid-drift baring for the summer, to help me start feeling more comfortable with my stomach.
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
Smallgirl
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Re: What body part could you make peace with to improve your life?

Unread post by Smallgirl »

My butt and thighs. (It had been my (tiny) breasts for a long, long time, until I finally plucked up the courage to talk about it with my boyfriend and that was the best thing that ever happened to my previously low self esteem). I'm quite skinny (47 kgs/161 cm tall) and my torso looks skinnier than it actually is. I eat healthy and I almost totally avoid junk food(I've never had a single burger/coke in my whole 17 years AND I'm vegan). But my thighs are big and meaty and my butt has stretch marks and cellulite in them. Everytime I look at them in the mirror, I feel unhealthy. I only exercise a bit these days. I am an athlete but I have put it on hold for the last 2 years to do some serious Preparation for my entrance tests(In the place where I live, they determine your LIFE)(Ok, not exactly, but almost). Two months till my exams and then I'm not resting till I get rid of them (Gym&Swim). Till then though, I'd really like to make peace with my butt and thighs and ask them to please not scare me when I look in the mirror.
Jacob
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Re: What body part could you make peace with to improve your life?

Unread post by Jacob »

My belly! I struggle a lot and feel like it represents my laziness, or lack of willpower etc etc. But I know this is just fatshaming. When I feel good, I also tend to be more active, eat better and it shrinks... so it's really difficult for me to separate it from the bad feelings which might already be around when it grows.

Partners have really helped with this though, and so has so has just being topless, when I have been on holiday or when relaxing.
"In between two tall mountains there's a place they call lonesome.
Don't see why they call it lonesome.
I'm never lonesome when I go there." Connie Converse - Talkin' Like You
Alice O
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Re: What body part could you make peace with to improve your life?

Unread post by Alice O »

Grateful to this thread because I hadn't realized it but I'd like to make peace with my butt! It is pretty flat. I have always been self-conscious about that, but especially right now when big butts are very focused on in pop culture.

I find it helpful to have positive body role models--people who have bodies that look like mine/whose bodies I really like. I know awhile ago I found a picture of a someone with a flat-ish butt that I thought looked cute. Maybe I'll find that and put it somewhere...
light_frost
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Re: What body part could you make peace with to improve your life?

Unread post by light_frost »

I'd like to make peace with my nose, if I only knew how to. It's fleshy, slightly pudgy, and gets red easily, and as a result I usually cringe in the vicinity of any mirror. I got a nose-ring a while back, which has improved things somewhat, as it flashes at certain angles and lights, and I think my nose is marginally nicer with it. But I'm still not at peace :/
thewrit3r
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Re: What body part could you make peace with to improve your life?

Unread post by thewrit3r »

I really need to make peace with my stomach. Sometimes I've been feeling "too fat" and I'm really trying to work out of that mindset but it's a struggle at times. Every time I hear things about healthy eating and the dangers of obesity I worry about my own weight. Exercising helps because it makes me feel stronger, but I must admit if I'm not doing it regularly I start to worry I'll weigh too much. I try telling myself that I should really be more concerned with how I feel than how I look, but then I turn to the obesity complaints yet again and worry that it really is about how I look and not just how I feel.
"The writer is by nature a dreamer - a conscious dreamer."
-Carson McCullers
sdnthegirl
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Re: What body part could you make peace with to improve your life?

Unread post by sdnthegirl »

My vagina. I hate that it leaks and bleeds and is generally a messy thing. I know that all of that is completely natural and normal and healthy, but it still makes me feel gross. I don't want to have to worry about period stains or leakage. I just want to have clean, dry panties for one whole day!

If I made peace with that, I'd probably be a bit more confident and would have to worry a little less about monitoring my body for stains/leaks, especially during my period.
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