Scarleteen

I need classy ways to refer to the schlong in my writing

Phallus is super Greek and pretentious and fancy. Simply "penis" should work for a mature (as in age and seriousness) audience.

I guess when you're writing using a variety of synonyms adds interest? If you have internet you can use fpr the task I looked for words I'd like to use for genitals I googled "synonyms for [ ]" and found lists entitled things like 178 words for penis. Some of them were bizarre, some hilarious, and some had social connotations I wasn't comfortable with but it was certainly interesting! "Member" is a reasonable old school one.

Classy words for schlong:

"I was playing my clarinet for hours."

"My obelisk has finally emerged."

"My plumes are very impressive, I can perform my mating dance for you at your pleasure."