Is it bad to be interested in BDSM at a young age?

[chanelpix]

I'm a [...] girl, and I haven't been influenced by any sexual content during my life. But, I remember that since I was 10, I was intrigued by the idea of BDSM. I've had the kink since I was 8! Is it bad to be interested in this at my age? If my parents knew I liked this sort of thing, they would be horrified I'm sure. I am totally against underage/pedophilia and I would only want to do it when I'm older. Could you please tell me if this is wrong???

[Redskies]

Welcome to the boards!

There's nothing in what you've said here that sounds even a little bit wrong

First, let's take your age out of the picture for just one minute. Some people do have an interest in BDSM or in some aspects of BDSM. There's nothing wrong with that! Some people talk about it as if there is something wrong with it, or wrong with people who are interested in it, but that's usually because the people who think it's wrong haven't heard about it properly, or think that various kinds of sexuality are wrong.

Wanting to experience or give some kinds of sensations, and/or wanting to explore different kinds of wielding or giving power with someone, is absolutely okay. What's important is caring about everyone's physical, mental and emotional health, well-being, and safety; and not wanting to do anything against the other person's wishes or that would actually harm someone.

Now let's bring your age back in. Some people get very jumpy and concerned about the idea of younger people being interested in BDSM, and that's mostly because of a few misunderstandings. First, some people have trouble with the idea that children or young people have any kind of sexuality or sexual feelings, and think that maybe the whole topic of sexuality is wrong or inappropriate because of age. Children - including very young children - and younger teenagers do have their own sexuality, and that's absolutely normal and healthy: it's just a very different kind of sexuality than that of an adult or an older teenager, because these are very different stages of development. Most people strongly know that older-teen and adult sexuality shouldn't be taken to younger people, but sometimes the message can get a bit mixed up and can sound as if younger people shouldn't or can't have their own, separate, sexuality. So: adults and older teenagers definitely shouldn't be involving you in their own sexuality, but it is 100% okay - and a completely different thing! - for you to have your own sexual thoughts and feelings.

(That also covers the part where you mentioned pedophilia. Technically, pedophilia is an adult's sexual interest in a child. You can probably see now that that has nothing to do with what you're asking about here, because you're asking about your own feelings and interests, and you're a young person yourself.)

Some people do realise that they're interested in BDSM while they're still fairly young. You're definitely not alone! It doesn't mean that there's anything wrong or strange about you. It's natural for people to become aware of their own interests and preferences over a very big range of ages, and different people will discover different things about their own self at very different ages.

Does this make sense? Are there other reasons you thought it might be bad or wrong?

[_boople_snoot_]

I'm [...] and I have had that question for so long. Since 8 I have been interested in sex and having minor sexual experiences. I got into BDSM at 11 and I have never told any one except my fuck buddy/love interest (its complicated xD). Once my mom walked in my room and both me and her were naked, making out, and my mom walked in. I think I wouldn't have been in trouble if she wasn't tied up, because my mom is super cool with me having sexual experiences. Society tends to have a negative view of people with those kinds of kinks, but its completely okay. You didn't sign up to feel that way, you just do. And thats okay.