Scarleteen

About three weeks ago (September 19th) I had gone to the hospital with horrifying pain. Pain that while sitting was unbearable, walking hurt, laying down was uncomfortable, just moving in general was extremely painful. I don't remember much other than the pain, shaking, and wanting it to stop. They did a pelvic exam and took swabs, it hurt when the doctor was swabbing over my cervix. It drove me into shaking and shivering. Later, I was to get an ultrasound, it wasn't that bad, not until the tech asked me if he could do an internal ultrasound. I didn't care, I wanted answers.

During the internal ultrasound, it was painful but tolerable. He moved that device to the right side and I nearly screamed in horror. He knew I was in pain without me saying anything cause he could see it on the screen. He told me my IUD is in place, but didn't say anything further. I left and felt horrible.

The doctor finally tells me that it's nothing serious and that the ultrasound did find something. I was told a 2.7cm ovarian cyst ruptured into my pelvis. I was waiting there, waiting for them to tell me I am getting surgery. Instead, the doctor handed me pain killers and sent me home. After telling me a 2.7cm cyst ruptured, that I am bleeding internally, then to hand me T3s and to go home that my body will reabsorb the blood.

The T3s didn't touch me so on a Saturday I go to the walk-in, explain everything to the doctor, where he gave me stronger medication. That medication didn't do a whole for me. I spent days just sitting in bed or on the couch, unable to sleep. I go and see my family doctor 5 days after it ruptured. She given me a higher doses of the same pain killer I was given at the walk-in clinic. She did some blood work and swabs again. I get a call telling me to go back to the emergency department the day after I saw my family doctor. I was hysterical thinking the worst would come. They did more testing and another ultrasound. The ultrasound still showed blood in my pelvis/stomach but they couldn't do anything, was sent home.

I am not the same. I should have done something before, cause yea it hurt a bit during sex before it ruptured. I can't have normal sex anymore, I feel something is inside of me, it has a throbbing pain, uncomfortableness, and just doesn't feel the same. It's starting to hurt again when I sit, or move and I think it's all in my head. I should deal with it.

I am so behind in my College studies that I feel what is the point anymore? I find my sexual response to be lacking ever since, I started to feel that way before it ruptured. All I get is, "girls gets cysts each month and we normally reabsorb it, or they rupture." well, guess what something rupturing at 2.7cm isn't just a small thing, that's huge... look at a ruler.

I was told the last ultrasound I had was 3 month prior to the cyst that ruptured. Does it even take that long to grow? All I'm hearing is it can take a few months for a cyst to get that large then to burst... but it was 3 month prior to the cyst rupturing, is it possible that it grew faster?

My doctor isn't sure what to do. She referred me to a specialist, but that can take months, I don't have months. I can't have normal sex anymore, I lost interest in everything, my mood is utter garbage and what if it's something more? Just because a cyst ruptured and just because it's 'normal' for every female to go through this, does not mean, they also have a cyst rupturing at 2.7cm.

I am sorry to say that cyst issues like these are simply way outside my pay grade: I simply lack the kind of education to address this with any confidence.

But what I/we certainly can do, if you like, is be here to listen and give you some support. Certainly, ongoing illness that causes severe pain, that interrupts parts of your life, and that you cannot heal from or get treatment for soon is one hell of a thing. I have been in that spot with other kinds of illness myself for a long time now, so I empathize.

Just let me know where yiu'd like to take this from here and how we can help within our qualifications and abilities.

Btw, per what is within my education, my understanding is that the size of that cyst is pretty average. Follicular or luteal cysts can get as big as even 6cm or an inch and not cause problems, including when they rupture. Or, regardless of size, they can cause problems when they rupture, or due to other complications. Now, you are having a rupture that clearly is causing you problems, but that is likely not about the size, which is what you seem to be focused on. I just wanted to clear that up in the case you are doing research on your own so you do not focus in that research on something unlikely to result in answers, as the size of that cyst likely has nothing to do with it having become so problematic.

Can I also ask if you reported all the ways you are feeling, including emotionally, to you OB/GYN (that is the kind of doctor you have been seeing, yes?) And did she say the referral will take months? If so, does she have anyone else she could suggest for you to see sooner?

Also, per school, have you checked un with an advisor or academic counselor to see what, if any, concessions can be made for you because of you dealing with ongoing illness? If not, I would suggest finding out about that. Anything to take some stress off your plate would obviiusly be a good thing.

Hello Heather,

Because of the rupturing cyst I am not normal, sex has become awkward for me and discomfort or pain- and like most, I really like sex. I used to really enjoy sex, up until the rupture my inside don't feel right. Before it ruptured I was having pain during sex, but it honestly wasn't bad, just a tiny thing. I was having sex when the cyst had ruptured.

I've been checked many times for infection (I got tested 3 times in a single week), at the hospital the first visit, when I saw my family doctor, and when I had to go back to the hospital. I'm clearly done with health professionals looking down there. I just grin and bare it, cause it's not a huge deal of a test.

I did have a OB/GYN when she placed the IUD in. The OB/GYN I got referred back to from my family doctor, and I am waiting for them to call me for an appointment. I haven't had issues, just mild to moderate pain which now I am fine. The IUD sits perfectly in my uterus. The ultrasounds and pelvic exams show that nothing is set wrong.

My partner/boyfriend got really stressed over the fact I was in so much pain for a long time. Yes, there were times the pain was tolerable but other times I had to lay down (I mostly laid in bed for a week and half) he was getting frustrated because of how it all happened. It wasn't pleasant and I fear another one is growing because it's starting to hurt again during sex and sitting/walking.

I was told at the hospital that there was a lot of blood in my pelvis, "a large amount of blood" and was told, "your body will reabsorb it," and basically got handed pain killers that didn't do anything for me (I had to get stronger pain management medication). I went back to the hospital about a week after the rupture and they still told me I had blood in my pelvis. My emotional level before this all happened, when I first started to complain about this discomfort pain, partner noticed a shift in my mood. Ever since it ruptured my mood, emotional well-being is horrible. I am not motivated to do anything, I stare at the same thing, I am stressed, I just complain. He's noticed this shift more after the cyst ruptured.

He's asking me all these questions: Do you think it's from the cyst rupturing? What if it's the IUD malfunctioning? What if the cyst had like hormonal stuff that leaked everywhere? or What if the cyst gave off more of a hormone than it should have? Do you think there is something else going on? What if it was an ectopic pregnancy?

I don't know how to respond other than, "why don't you look it up then?" I feel stressed as it is. I understand he cares and all but he isn't going through this, he has a penis, not ovaries.

I am talking with my program coordinator and asking if I can move two classes to next term. Those two classes, I haven't done anything in and at this point there is no point to catch up with because mid-terms are in two weeks.

Hi Coffeebean,

I'm sorry, that all sounds really unpleasant and stressful. I do want to give you kudos for advocating for doing things like checking back in with your healthcare providers when you're worried and working with your program coordinator regarding school stuff. It sounds like you're taking steps to take care of yourself and manage the stress of the situation in the ways that are under your control.

As for your boyfriend, it sounds like his (probably well meaning) worry is being directed at you, which is making this whole thing even more stressful for you than it needs to be. So, it might be worth having a conversation (if you haven't already) where you talk with him about how you appreciate that he's worried, but that when he needs support for that worry, you ask that he find it elsewhere rather than directing his anxiety-questioning towards you.

I feel like the best place I can start her is with the idea you are not "normal." Having a ruptured cyst is something that happens to people. Being unable to have certain kinds of sex sometimes, or even all the time, is also something that happens to people, and this doesn't make people abnormal - it just makes them people with illness or other conditions that make sex on the whole, or some kinds of sex something thay cannot do temporarily or permanently. The idea situations like that mean a person is not normal are ableist, which is a problem, but I also doubt that framework will serve you well here, you know?

Of course, the whole idea of normal is usually very busted, but that may be a bigger conversation for another day when you are not feeling so ill and distraught!

A cyst like this is a reproductive health issue, which is why I asked if any of the doctors you have seen for it are reproductive health providers; are OB/GYNs. If not, my best suggestion is to see what you can do to get in and see an OB/GYN, since this is not something they will not know what to do with. For instance, one common way to go with something like this is to prescribe the birth control pill for a bit, as that can help prevent new cysts from forming (and that can be taken while using an IUD, so it is not like you would have to have that removed).

If I have you right, you are having some conflict with your boyfriend right now around all of this. Can you communicate with him about understanding his concerns, but needing him to try and approach them differently with you than he has been? Have you given him some links about ovarian cysts so he can get started getting the information it sounds like he wants out of concern for you, rather than asking you about it?

I get that having to take a break from some or all sex because of illness stinks. It does. But if only some kinds of sex are off the table, and your mood is such that you do not feel too down to have sex and want to, have you been exploring what kinds of sex you like you CAN still be part of? Given what is going on here, I presume the kinds that are the problem are probably just kinds that invokve vaginal entry: do I have that right? If so, that still leaves you a lot of different ways you can be sexual if that is something you want.