Scarleteen

So, my mother still doesn't understand why I am trans. Besides that she's still trying to and only digging a bigger hole now. However, my mother asked and from the sounds of it, believes that I am trans for special attention and to be basically fetishized. (Which while I have fantasies where I usually have the correct plumbing downstairs, doesn't appeal to me like that.) Her thinking that also makes feel a little sick just thinking about it because of an ex... We don't talk about that guy.
Also, I have had instances where I've wanted to be sexual with people despite dysphoria. So, I'm not quite sure where she gets it from, and frankly the idea isn't pleasant. Any thoughts?

Oh bleck. I'm so sorry.

I'm a bit out of the loop when it comes to where things stand overall now with you and your mother and and your transness and any transition. Can you get me up to speed in a nutshell so I can do my best to give you advice around this?

Can you be sure to let me know what, if any, limits and boundaries you have set (or tried to) with her around any of this?

She still says my body-related dysphoria is just insecurities about my body which I refuse to acknowledge. She now thinks trans people are mentally ill. And also, she still says I haven't given her a good reason why I'm a girl. The only boundary I've put up is not to go on if I say to stop.

Again, I am so sorry to hear this, and so sorry you have to live so unsupported in this by your mother right now.

What do you think about trying to set a boundary where the two of you don't talk about anything trans, period? It doesn't seem like *anything* that has ever come from her about anything trans, or your own experiences, identity and needs, has benefitted you. So, while we can get to talk about if she will even abide it, I am wondering how you feel about at least setting that hard line.

I actually don't feel bad for setting that line.

How do you think she would respond if you said you just weren't going to talk about anything trans with her, at all?

Probably pissed, she might still try to talk about it, still.

Would it be worth a try to simply not engage if she did, or leave the interaction when possible?

I've done both before, and sometimes it's worked by situation.

Then it sounds like your best bet may be to keep doing those things when she gets going about your gender. It may not work every time, but if it cuts down on how much nonsense you have to hear from her then it seems like it's worth continuing.