Scarleteen

Usually, I run into issues with dysphoria before I even touch when I'm aroused. And if by rare chance I do ever orgasm, for any reason, I don't really find it satisfying. I'm really confused, and a little concerned because I'm not sure if even after I'm comfortable touching down there, whether that be post-SRS or HRT. Or even now, I'm really concerned that I might not be able to satisfy my self sexually, although, I have less of a concern about satisfying others. (I'm concerned mainly about my end.)

Orgasms aren't always mind-blowing experiences: sometimes they do feel fantastic and more intense, but other times they don't. Too, factors like dysphoria or stress don't just affect how easily you get aroused, but also the whole sexual response cycle, including orgasm. I get why you're feeling worried (plenty of folks, for all sorts of reasons, worry that masturbation feeling "meh" now means all kinds of sex will always and forever feel that way) but there are a few of reasons that's really unlikely.

First off, sexual satisfaction is about waaaaaay more than experiencing orgasm: it's totally possible to have amazing sexual experiences that don't involve orgasm, and equally possible to have sex that's seriously underwhelming where orgasms happened. Secondly, sex (including masturbation) doesn't necessarily have to involve your genitals; the most important sex organ anybody has is their brain and nervous system, and there are plenty of places on your body other than your genitals where you might really enjoy being touched. Some people, for example, love having their neck touched or kissed, or their nipples, or their ears, or pretty much any body part you can think of, and you might find it helpful to explore that for yourself. Lastly, I would hazard a guess that if hormone therapy and/or surgery is something you want and can make happen for yourself someday, and that leads to feeling more comfortable in your body, arousal and orgasm will feel far more enjoyable than they do now.

Orgamsms are nice, but I honestly dislike how they feel now. (I'm not sure how that will be later down the road, once I'm on estrogen my orgasms may change a bit.) I also get dysphoria from the whole ejaculation part. (I hate even thinking about it.) I also get dysphoric from the lady tree getting erect, as well as touching it in certain places. So, I'm kind of sexually unsatisfied when it comes to genital stuff. Although, kissing and biting really get me going. As well as cuddling and bondage. I wish I wasn't flat-chested because I would totally rock a cute, sexy bra then. :/

So, it sounds like you have plenty of options for exploring pleasure in a way that's still sexual but that doesn't involve genitals, which is awesome. If orgasm and genital stimulation just aren't something you find enjoyable right now, or actually really would rather avoid because of the dysphoria they trigger, there's nothing wrong with that. (Unless you feel like genital stimulation is something you have to have?)

Sometimes I want genital stimulation, which totally is a bit of an oxymoron considering the dysphoria I have down there. Also, I do admit that sometimes I feel that I have to have stimulation down there. (Although, I know I don't need it.) I'm not sure why, I think it's because I associate it with sexual pleasure because of preconceptions.