Scarleteen

I think I've read everything I can about condoms already, but I have a couple of questions.

My girlfriend and I talked about having sex next weekend when she visits me. What kind of sex, what to use for being safe,... everything. We even planned to have a special day together before. We've done everything we can to be safe by getting STI screenings too. I'm a bit OCD about planning in everything I do, not just sex.

I got some condoms of different kinds so I could test them while masturbating. The ones without lube work best because the lube stuff gets on your hands and they get slippery to hold. I'd rather put the lube on by myself and only where it belongs, not my hands. I got them at a place on the other side of town that sells them by singles in a jar so you can try each kind. I got a few of each and some lube too. I figured I would get more from a closer store in a pack once I knew what works.

They are all a bit tricky to put on the right way, and I think I'll need the lights on since I tried to do it with my eyes closed. Guess what, I'm only right 50% of the time after I open my eyes. I can't tell feeling them which direction they go. I wish they marked the packet.

I have 2 questions I can't figure out. I don't want to waste a condom if I don't have to since I only have a few of the kind without lube. Apparently they don't sell unlubricated ones at regular stores, I checked.

If I get the condom on backwards, but only a tiny bit down, can I take it off and flip it? There might be precum in it and I would think that isn't a good idea, but maybe if I wipe it with a tissue???

Second question, this one is more difficult. Even when I masturbate I sometimes lose my erection, especially if I get distracted by a noise or something. I noticed the condom bunches up but stays on. Then when I resume masturbating, the condom isn't on perfectly, it has folds it it so I adjust it, especially at the base where it has rolled back up a bit. Is this okay to do, or do I need a new condom if I lose my erection?

Just trying to practice before she visits because I'm sure I'll be nervous. We're both pretty excited and talking everyday. I already warned her I might be nervous, in an excited way, and I tend to rush if I get too wound up. She seemed cool about it if things don't go as planned but I'd like this to go smoothly if possible.

Thanks again.

It's great that you and your partner are being so proactive here, and that you're doing some experimentation before she visits.

If you put a condom on inside out, it really is best to just toss that one and open a new one. I do recommend you keep the lights on while putting a condom on, so you can see what you're doing and avoid mistakes. One thing you can do is unroll the condom a tiny bit before you put it on; if you feel like you're having to kind of reach up into the condom to grab the rolled-up edge and unroll it, it's inside-out. The rolled-up edge should be on the exterior and feel pretty easy to roll down without a struggle. With practice I think you'll get more used to what that looks and feels like, but for now I think it's a good idea to just assume, when you're buying condoms, that you may have to toss a couple and factor that into what you buy.

If a condom stays mostly on when your erection flags a little, that's ok. You just want to make sure it hasn't slipped entirely off, and pull/adjust it back to full coverage once your erection returns. As above, if you find that it does come off altogether or your erection isn't coming back and you don't want to hang out with a condom on for a bit, you should just discard that condom and use a new one when you need it.

As a note about lubricated condoms: it's totally fine to want to buy unlubricated ones, and you may have luck finding some to purchase online if you can't get them locally. But if you're having intercourse it's not likely to be as annoying to you as it might feel when you're masturbating, since you'll probably be getting some lube on your hand anyway as you add more to the condom (lubricated condoms definitely aren't lubricated enough for most people's comfort!). A lot of people like to keep a small hand towel around when they're adding lube, so they can wipe their hands on it once it's been applied.

Thanks for the tip about the tip , I'll take a look. Also thanks for suggesting I unroll it a bit first. I didn't try that. I was trying to look a the direction the rolled part was rolling and it isn't easy to see without the lights on. I still think they should put on the wrapper "This End Up" or something. Not that I'm sure what end would be considered up, but you get the idea. Maybe "This End Out"... Or even better, they should color the inside and the outside different, maybe one side glow in the dark. Someday I should get a job designing these things. They did a terrible job.

It isn't that I can't wipe off the lube after, I've just had a few slip in my hands while starting to unroll it and it shot off like a rubber band. Kind of awkward if it flies off somewhere while I'm trying to put it on. Having the lube on my hands or the rolled part makes it harder to hang on to. I also think some of these condoms are too small and that seem to make it harder to start rolling down. I didn't think my penis was large, so I just started with the regular ones. I did get 2 of the larger sized ones I'll try next time. I don't know how to tell if they are too large though. Is there something I should do to make sure the large ones aren't too large and slip off? I'm not too concerned this time since one of us can just hold in place with hands.

We weren't planning to have anything but oral sex and she wanted to masturbate while we were cuddling and kissing. She said she can only have an orgasm by masturbating and wanted to know if it was okay if she did that with me. Sounded like awesome fun so of course I said yes. That said, being prepared if we decide otherwise couldn't hurt.

Thank you so much for the image of a condom flying across the room like a rubber band, that made my morning (and to second what Mo said, it sounds like you and your girlfriend are doing an awesome job preparing for this and communicating with each other). As for seeing if a condom is too large, you may want to factor in a sacrificial one to test out. You can try masturbating with it on using a grip that's not super tight to see if it is slipping up and down too much for your liking. Too, sometimes you can go by how it looks and feels when you put it on. If it's not too tight but doesn't look or feel too baggy, then you're likely good to go.

Glad I made your morning. My girlfriend actually thinks it's cute when I do dumb things, so she'd probably laugh too. It is probably the thing I like about her the most. She actually seems to think I'm cute when I do something dumb.

I'm going to try one of the larger ones next. I got 2 that said they were snugger and they were really difficult to put on and uncomfortable. The regular sized once were a bit tricky, but easier. I was embarrassed to buy the large ones because I didn't want to look like an ass. I almost didn't get them thinking I could skip and not embarrass myself at the checkout counter. I just told myself to ignore that and get 2 of each kind. One to test and one extra to use if I liked it. Not sure what to do with the extra snugger one now.

Yeah, my new girlfriend is pretty cool. We've been sexting all week about ever detail of what we want to do together. The texts are so hot, I keep re-reading them.

Thanks for the advice. If I have a problem I'll be back.