Scarleteen

hello!I am a 13 year old male, and i have been very interested in masterbation, and i have rubbed/touched/stroked my genitalia for maybe 3 seconds at a time but I always stop myself, not because of a religion or anything, but I am scared of what it will feel like to ejaculate. In 5th grade we got "the official talk" in school ,of course I already knew what sex/masterbation was, but thats when I learned about "wet dreams". the moment i heard of it, i was scared of waking up covered in semen. I dont really fear that anymore but now Im scared of the feeling of ejaculation. I know it will feel good, but I cant bring myself to do it. My parents have actually told me as long as I do it in private and don't do it every second of the day, they are fine with me masterbating. (they even once joked about getting me a towel with a dick cross stitched on it...) So yeah, I am terrified of the good feeling of ejaculation, and I really want to masterbate to relieve stress from school and such but I am terrified to do it! Help!

I have watched porn and such before and I like the feeling of having an erection and touching myself, but i cant bring myself to actually masterbate.

Hi there jasonquadruple, and welcome to Scarleteen!

First of all, it's good to hear that your family is accepting of masturbation and has talked to you openly about it. It may be helpful to read our article about it- to help round out what you've already learned - Is Masturbation Okay? Yep..

To respond to your question about this fear you're feeling about ejaculation, do you know where it came from? What exactly are you afraid of? I know you had mentioned that you were afraid of waking up after having a wet dream, but that you are no longer afraid of that. What do you think made that change happen?
Another thought I have is, is there a reason that you're pushing yourself towards overcoming this? Whenever people bring up fear or uneasiness about sexual activities or sexuality, it's usually an indicator that they may not feel ready to have sex, or that there are other emotional issues that may need to be addressed. What would it be like for you to try masturbating or feeling pleasure without trying to push yourself or work towards ejaculation as an endgoal?