Antidepressants and Sex

[gatesy08]

Hello,

I've just very recently starting taking antidepressants for my anxiety. It was a tough year and I knew I needed that extra help to feel like myself so I made the decision to tell my Dr. and start them. I was reading about side effects and how having an orgasm and can be difficult on these medications. So I masturbated the other day and I was able to have an orgasm. It took a little bit longer than usual but it still happened and felt the same as always. My boyfriend and I had sex last night and no matter what I couldn't have one! After a while my clitoris even felt numb from all the contact and rubbing. I'm really worried this medication will stop me from being able to have those close moments with my partner and now I'm really nervous to try again! I feel more like myself on the pills, but this is a HUGE downer...

[Heather]

Good for you for bringing your concerns to your doctor, and taking a step to help yourself out!

So, with or without any medications that can play a part in sexual response, any given person is simply not always going to reach orgasm, either alone or with a partner. What's most common is for it to happen sometimes, but not always. How often it does is highly individual. Of course, depression and anxiety in and of themselves often inhibit sexual response and create other issues in one's sex life, more so than medications for them, so when people find effective treatment for either, they generally experience improvements in their sexual lives. Too, if you only very recently started them, given they are a cumulative medication, changes are good they can't yet even have this potential side effect for you. You probably just didn't reach orgasm because you just didn't (and you also may have even psyched yourself out by creating a panic about this possible side effect), and trying so hard to have one usually makes having one more difficult.

But too, no one needs to reach orgasm to experience intimacy -- closeness -- with a partner. That's something where people can (but sometimes do without any additional intimacy, mind) experience intimacy, but whooooo boy is that nowhere near the only place. People also can and usually do experience intimacy during sex without orgasm. For more on intimacy, see: Intimacy: The Whys, Hows, How-Nots, and So-Nots.

Not always reaching orgasm is normal and common for everyone, but even if it wasn't, not having an orgasm isn't ever any kind of emergency or cause for panic.

You can pay attention to this over time, but your prescribing physician should follow up with you in a few months os so about your medication, regardless. So, if you do wind up having sexual side effects, you can discuss those with them then or any time.

[Alice O]

Hey Gatesy08,

I wanted to let you know that I have had personal experiences with SSRIs (which I'm guessing is the type of antidepressant you are taking) and sexual side effects, so if you would like to talk more about that I would be happy to!

(In short, the sexual side effects passed after a few months, once my body got adjusted to the medication.)

But I also second what Heather said above--you can definitely have intimacy without orgasm, it is common to not always reach orgasm, and anxiety or depression on their own can make orgasming difficult, even when medications are not in the mix.