Scarleteen

Hi, I am 15 and very insecure about my penis size. It is about 3 inch or less when flaccid but 9 inch and more when erect. Is this small.

Hi Cor

Penises come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes, and it's really common for any one penis to vary a lot between it's most flaccid and most erect states. Plenty of people have a flaccid penis size similar to yours - in fact there is an article here all about how different penises can be: Shown Actual Size: A Penis Shape & Size Lowdown.

It's also worth remembering that penis size just is, and is not the most important part of your or your partner's sexual pleasure or function.

Penis size is a lot more of a concern than it needs to be in our culture. If you research this and other sexual education websites, you'll discover that, based on the information based on female anatomy, penis size shouldn't affect female sexual arousal and response. As long as you have birth control and condoms at hand when you have sex, penis size shouldn't factor into sexual response in either you or any partner you may have.

Hi Cor, I hope you're ok!

I just wanted to recognise after COTD's post, that we do try not to assume the gender of someone's potential partners. Attraction, and preferences vary from person to person, and it isn't particularly about being 'female' or not.

Anyhow, with everything else - agreed! Ideas about 'ideal' penis size are a lot more to do with culture and change from place to place and over time, as has been said. Ideally we would get over our random ideals for genitals altogether and just realise that we're people with bodies who find different ways to mash them together for fun! All that matters in this is that the people doing the mashing have what they need to feel good, look after themselves, and eachother.

For what it's worth also, from the article above, you can see that what you're describing is in the middle-to-bigger range. So as well as smallness not being an issue, this also reflects how a lot of people have worries about their bodies that aren't really about their actual size or shape, it's more just about your own attitude to your own body and being comfortable with yourself.

Jacob wrote:I just wanted to recognise after COTD's post, that we do try not to assume the gender of someone's potential partners. Attraction, and preferences vary from person to person, and it isn't particularly about being 'female' or not.

I didn't mean it like that. This guy's profile said he was straight so I safely assumed it was a female partner he had. If the guy were gay, I wouldn't've mentioned the "female" part. I also used the term to address how penis hardness likely isn't the sole factor for vaginal lubrication and other body responses. I guess I should've said "partner's sexual arousal" rather than "female sexual arousal". Sorry. My bad.