Scarleteen

Mine would probably be the idea that penis in vagina intercourse is the be all end all of sex. I feel like it sets up a lot of expectations around what "real" sex should be and leads to people missing out on all the other ways you can enjoy sex with a partner (not to mention it carries a lot of heteronormative ideas about sex). It also seems like a lot of people end up struggling because they or their partner are not orgasming from this kind of sex and therefore they feel like they're doing something wrong.

Sam summed up one of the first ones that came to mind. For me I also want to get over the idea that sexuality is 100% fixed for everyone. I still feel like I mostly identify as heterosexual but sometimes I feel fluid and I thought I had to “choose” but sexuality is wayyy more complicated than I previously thought.

That doing stuff without your own pleasure in mind is a great idea. It's...really not? Not great at articulation right now but the whole "guys only want one thing, if you have sex 'too soon' they'll use you and leave, if you have it 'too late' they'll also leave somehow", "wife duties (barf)", "race to lose virginity by some arbitrary age or else oh noes you'll be uncool somehow", just...everything that says that doing sex you're lukewarm at best about is a great idea.

I know you get some couples where, say, asexual person is like "yeah im willing to do this for x person and can get something out of this in a sense" but on the whole I see the "do the sex you're meh about" screwing up a lot of peoples' approach to it.

There's also the opposite extreme of "do the sex only with your pleasure in mind screw the other persons' wants but not literally otherwise we probably wouldn't be talking about these hypotheticals" where I feel people kind of...approach it as a 'challenge' where you 'get something' from the other person, say/do whatever to win them over then basically make no effort for their enjoyment. It sucks.