Scarleteen

First off, hello and long time no talk! I haven't been on here since February of 2016 I guess so this sort of feels like coming back home. Well I'll get back to business. Mainly, I just want someone who knows what they're talking about to give me their feedback on my current situation. I suffer from Anxiety (I really do, I was diagnosed as a child) and this has always sort of been my special safe place to put my mind at ease thus why I am here after quite some time and I really do appreciate what all you all have done for me in the past so thanks again. So I'll just dive right into the nitty gritty.

For one, I am 25 years old and my boyfriend is 26. While we are always using a form of contraception when engaging in full sexual intercourse (said contraception being the male condom),before he goes inside of me, he performs frottage unto my bare genitals. I have read that there are risks to this but they are theoretically unlikely to cause an actual conception. So basically I would allow it time and time again. However, in about an hour, I will be on day 44 of my cycle. You will not believe how crazy this has been driving me, especially today since I brought myself to tell my boyfriend to just pick up a Clear Blue Digital Home Pregnancy Test on the way back from work to drive this madness out of me (I was literally getting sick and obsessive over my phone looking up everything I can read on google on the matter which I KNOW was a HUGE mistake). I have done exactly what the instruction leaflet has told me to do. I have took the test tonight and not in the morning because like I said, I just couldn't move on with my life without knowing and looking it up all the time and I am in the clear to do so since the leaflet told me that I could test whenever if I was at least doing so on the date of my expected period and at this time I am already late. This has also been at least 2 weeks after my possible risk date so I feel like I can be assured that the results are accurate (says over 99% when testing on at least the day you are expecting your period to start (even prior to that even).

So, It ended up reading "Not Pregnant" so now I am just confused as to why I haven't started yet. I have been starting my periods at least every month until now but they can be kind of weird. Like, my typical cycles are usually around day 32-34 but I can say with confidence that I've had them on days, 26 through at least 36 (I could've gone higher than that but I don't remember). What I DO remember though, is that I once started on day 42 but that was 3 years ago). I am leading myself to believe that I am causing this with my anxiety. I guess when I didn't end up starting within my average time (days 32-34) I freaked and even more so when day 42 has already passed thus making me sick and obsessive to the internet. I have been having my usual PMS which would be acne, bloating, and gastric noises. Just......no cramps just yet. What do you guys advise that I do next? Wait an x amount of time for my period to start before I make a move or what? Again, thanks so much and I really, REALLY do appreciate this. Don't worry. We even decided not to do bare genital-to-genital contact anymore even though he only ejaculates during protected intercourse with a condom. This is way too much for me to bare. At least right now since I am not very established in my career just yet and neither is he.

P.S. One last thing I forgot to mention. I noticed that I may have ovulated late. it was around nearly 2 weeks ago that I went to the restroom and realized my clear cervical mucous. I was like "Really? But I should be starting soon.......why just now??"

In a lifetime of periods, it is safe to say that literally everyone is going to have at *least* a couple that deviate from what they are used to -- when they come, level or color of flow, how they feel -- if not way more than just a couple.

As well, in a lifetime, your fertility cycles are going to shift or just do unusual stuff sometimes, which often also influences periods. You already observed what sounds pretty likely to have been a substantial shift in when you ovulated, so it's not surprising your periods aren't happening at the usual time, either.

But ultimately, we just can't possibly say what the holdup is beyond that, because we can't possibly know.

The rest of your question looks to me like you're experiencing a pregnancy scare which, in and of itself, is something we have hard limits around and can't help you with (if for no other reason than that we aren't psychic ). It does sound like you're expressing that you are having more of a struggle with anxiety than you usually do, and that you know you have an anxiety disorder. So, your best bet might be to talk to your mental healthcare provider -- or, if you don't currently have one, to seek a new one out -- and see about perhaps making some adjustments to help you with this, be this an adjustment to medication or some focused therapy to help get you over the hump.