Scarleteen

Hello, I started this conversation using the texting service but wanted more in depth discussion. I have been dating my girlfriend for over 2 years and she just recently told me that as a child she experienced sexual abuse. She has largely recovered and it does not bother her in day to day life but she says that she has gotten very nervous and uncomfortable about sex. We have done various things like making out takijg clothes off and she says that she never did anything she was uncomfortable with. We are good at communicating and have talked about the possibility of her seeing a counselor and trying different tips to build comfort around sex such as non sexual cuddling while naked. I am prepared to love and support her through this and go slow with sex for as long as it takes but I am scared about the possibility of it being forever. I also do not know if I should be initiating conversation because this is really up to her but I don't want it to be like one really great conversation and then the topic gets dropped. I really love her and I really do not want to pressure her at all and she has told me she wants to work on this I think I am mainly wondering if it is okay to initiate conversation and not lead the discussion but like keep it going.

Hi Fifi,

It sounds like you two are already taking some great steps around this, and like you're being really supportive of her which is awesome. When you two have decided to try intimate non-sexual things in the past, what was the conversation around those (who brought it up, how did the discussion of limits go, etc)? Do you feel like you could use a similar conversational approach to bring up your current feelings or the current situation?