Hello!
I’ve been dating this guy for a month now and we really enjoy each other’s company. We went out a year ago but nothing happened and he asked me out again recently and I decided to give him a chance and now he’s my boyfriend.
I do have some concerns though. There’s a girl who is 17 who is constantly messaging him. And I brought it up a couple weeks ago pretty angrily, and caused a fight. So I’ve been quiet since. But it’s still bothering me. She always sends him selfies and seems to be flirting with him. And since I’ve brought it up he sortve hides his phone from me. But yesterday I noticed he deleted his entire camera roll. But before he did, I thought I caught a glimpse of her face. I’m very paranoid and I’m not sure what to do. This jealousy is constantly a problem in relationships for me. Help!
Jealousy
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kindascared
- not a newbie
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- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: She/her
- Sexual identity: Straight
- Location: Tennessee
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Sam W
- previous staff/volunteer
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- Age: 33
- Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Coast
Re: Jealousy
Hi Kindascared,
It sounds like it's time for you and him to talk about this and explain what about the situation is making you feel insecure and jealous. Depending on how he answers, you may discover that nothing is going on, or you may get the sense that he is, in fact, flirting with this other girl (hiding the phone is sometimes a sign of something being up, but it could also be that he's being honest but he's hiding the phone because he doesn't want another fight). That conversation may be uncomfortable, but it's better to have it than for you to stay upset and suspicious. These two articles might help you out some:
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/relat ... ed_monster
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/relat ... ion_basics
It sounds like it's time for you and him to talk about this and explain what about the situation is making you feel insecure and jealous. Depending on how he answers, you may discover that nothing is going on, or you may get the sense that he is, in fact, flirting with this other girl (hiding the phone is sometimes a sign of something being up, but it could also be that he's being honest but he's hiding the phone because he doesn't want another fight). That conversation may be uncomfortable, but it's better to have it than for you to stay upset and suspicious. These two articles might help you out some:
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/relat ... ed_monster
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/relat ... ion_basics
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.