Relationship

[Nadine Marie]

Hey, we'll i am 20 years old. I had a relationship that ended bad. I found out he cheated on me in august. What hurts me the most is his family even knew about it and acted like nothing was going on. It turns out he slept with another girl and took her home. But they didn't spend the night together. I was feeling a sense that he was hiding something but I never thought this. Anyways I found out by someone else. And when I confronted him. He didn't deny it. He felt really sorry.it hurts me because everything was going so we'll when I had to end it. But I also told him I was billing to try and make this work but he said no. He says he is a bad person and I deserve better. He says he feels lost in life and he hopes I can forgive him and he just wants to be alone. However before my confrontation... Everything seemed to be going perfect, I know he was being extra nice to me because he knew he had done something wrong, and was probably sorry for doing it. What I'm trying to say is I am really hurt;/ but I do miss him. Apart from being my lover... He became my bestfriend. and I trusted him so much I felt so comfortable with him. I miss him. The person I was always with. At this point I don't know what to do:( we haven't spoken for about 3 weeks already:/ and he hasn't tried fixing things... How can I feel this way , what could he possibly be feeling? I honestly thought what we ..him and I had was something so real.ive proven to him that I would be there always. He knew how special he was to me. Not to mention he got out of a relationship before me , probably 5 or six months before me. Mabe that can play part? his name is David by the way:/ David and I would always have sleep overs, it got to a point were we would even showered together. We did things we've never done in our past relationships, and we actually loved it:( I have the urge to text him and call him and tell him how much I miss him, but I know by doing that I will come off desperate and needy:/ and that is the last thing I want:( I don't know what to do about this:( I really love him and I feel like he walked away like I never ment nothing:(

[Nadine Marie]

Not to mention;/ the girl he slept with was a random girl and he never spoke to ever again

[Johanna]

Welcome to Scarleteen, Nadine Marie! I am sorry to hear you are feeling so down. That sounds like a rough break-up! You know, I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to get in touch with your ex boyfriend - in fact, that is only understandable. You two spent a lot of time together and were really close, it's difficult to go from that to having absolutely no contact.

Plenty of people stay in touch after a relationship ended, or reconnect after a period of time. What is important for something like that is for you to be sure of what you feel, and to be sure of your motives for wanting to get in touch - and also to be sure that you can handle his response to your reaching out. For example, if you ask him how he feels about rekindling your friendship, and he says he is not ready or not interested in that, then you'll have to accept that.

How are you doing with taking care of yourself in all of this? What have you been doing to distract yourself, or to process what happened and move on? Do you have any friends who have been supporting you in this, anyone you can talk to about how you feel?

[Nadine Marie]

Thanks Johanna ,

Your right, and no I actually have no one to talk to this with. It's really complicated when it comes to my life. I have no one.
But yes, I think it's best if I focus on myself right now

[Johanna]

That sounds likd a good plan! Maybe part of focusing on yourself can be finding a new hobby, or volunteering, or otherwise taking up a new activity that will get you out and meeting new people. That way, you can focus on yourself and do something for yourself, and make new friends.