Scarleteen

If you have read my first post about my stepdad then you know about him sexually assaulting me, and if you haven't you should, cuz idk if this will make sense. I wrote descriptions of things he's said to me and incidents of fights we've been in. As it turns out that classifies as emotional/verbal abuse. He's screamed insults in my face, purposely slammed a door into me, told me if I go to live with my real dad, I would never see my step sister and brother again. I told my dad and he contacted the police and there is currently an investigation going on. I haven't seen my step sister and i think she hates me, my mom and so hurt because she said everything he's done was the right thing and I'm lying, or remembering it wrong. She pulled me out of school in the middle of the day just to convince me i was wrong. I'm living with my dad currently and tbh i feel like i ruined everything. I ruined a family. I feel like everything is falling apart.

Hi aaron, it's so good to hear from you, I'm sorry it's while you are feeling all this pain.

When you talk about ruining things. It sounds like you're feeling all this responsibility lands on your shoulders, and that this is partly because of how your mom spoke to you. But you aren't the person who took the actions your step-dad took, that was him. She might be really scared by all of this and have her own issues/fears, but that doesn't mean she's right to try and convince you you're wrong. I'm really pleased though that you stuck to what you were saying, that isn't easy, and many of us struggle to tell our truth.

Also you haven't ruined a family, I think you're showing the kind of strength that the adults in your life could do something to learn from. If you were being abused that's not good for you and it's not good for your family. It can be painful for the family to go through. Seeing your mom upset, and trying to stop it, sounds like it's especially painful for you, but it's a good sort of pain if it means you are safer and that your family becomes a less toxic place in the future.

Your safety, your mental health will be an asset to you now but also growing as a person. Your siblings are lucky to have you in their family and the healthier and safer you are the more you will all be able to realise that in the future. I hope your mom comes to eventually appreciate this too, but for now I'm just happy that you sound a lot safer than you did last time you wrote here.