Lack of Sensitivity

[Ryllis]

So, I am a 22 year old with a vagina, and I've never had an orgasm. I know that this hardly makes me unique, as most people with vaginas don't regularly have them, but I can't help but worry about why. Many of the posts I've read talk about people who just can't "get there" - they experience arousal, but they just can't get to orgasm. This isn't exactly my experience, so forgive me if I'm asking a repeat question.

I just don't seem to have any sensitivity in my genitals. I can be aroused but when I or a partner touches me, it doesn't feel like much of anything. It's not that I'm numb, I can still feel the sensations, it just doesn't feel pleasurable. Touch to my clit feels like a touch to my nose, or a shoulder, or to my knees; I can feel it, but it's not exactly arousing. Penetration is rather similar. It doesn't matter what sexual activity I'm engaging in either; masturbation, oral sex, grinding, penetration, all just get a "meh" response from me.

I do experience arousal, however. I do get turned on by a variety of things and want to go further, but once I try i just tend to get frustrated at myself and stop. Masturbation is generally frustrating. I can "work myself up" but once I try to escalate I find nothing works and end up sore and uncomfortable.

My question, I suppose, is what can I try to do? Is this something I should bring up with a doctor? Or is this something that's normal enough? I'm not looking for a diagnosis, just some advice.

[Mo]

Hi Ryllis, welcome to Scarleteen.
I'm wondering what your experience is like feeling pleasure in your body, in general. Are there things like kissing, massage, hair-brushing, etc. that feel good to you? Have you been able to take time with a partner (or just by yourself!) to explore a lot of kinds of touch, when you're feeling aroused? If there are those things that feel good, even if they don't feel like they might lead to orgasm or aren't the kind of sex you'd like to be enjoying, I think it's best to focus on those intimate activities that do bring you some level of pleasure.
Even if you really want to enjoy certain kinds of touch or sex right now, if they're making you feel frustrated, sore or uncomfortable, it might be good to just take a break from them at all for the moment, if you haven't already.

This may be something you've tried, but I do want to mention that a good lubricant can be really helpful in a situation when direct clitoral contact feels painful/irritating or like not much at all.