Scarleteen

Okay, so recently I have moved to a new country to pursue a career as a teacher. Due to coming here largely on my own I've had to build a new social circle and make new friends. Which isn't a bad thing but it can get lonely. While I have made a few friends here already there is one girl in particular who I like. She has a lot of the qualities and traits I would look for in a girlfriend or boyfriend. But with that being said of course there is of course an unknown part of this: What are her feelings for me, does she see me as a friend or would she be interested in anything else? I know that the only way to really figure this out would be to talk to her. But that runs the risk of rejection. I am not saying I am scared of rejection because it will destroy our friendship.But rejection is still upsetting and I don't know if I can deal with that additional stress right now because I have a lot going on right now.

I had a job here but things didn't work out so I left. Right now, I am currently looking for something new and I am about to go home for Christmas later today. All of this has made my anxiety sky rocket. Also the fact I have had to discontinue my hrt because of financial reasons. So I am not in a very good place right now. I've talked about my family on the boards before and while things have gotten better there is still a lot of work to do in that department.

The other option is to just not do anything, but of course that means I will never know (unless she makes the first move of course). Which means I will just be holding all of this inside me until my feelings fade or I meet someone new or whatever (which isn't healthy either). I did talk to a mutual friend of ours about it, he said I will never know unless I try talking to her. Part of me thinks I should just wait until Christmas is over and I am in a better place, another part of me just says to not do anything about it, still another part me is just saying to get it over and done with. Basically what do people on here think? Any advice would be appreciated on how to navigate this.

I hear you saying very clearly you can't deal with possible rejection right now. What that says to me is that right now is not the right time for you to put your feelings out there, then, or pursue a more intimate relationship. We just have to be willing to take those risks and feel able to handle them for the timing to be right with this, you know?

I hear you also saying clearly you think you should wait at least a few weeks. I'd listen to yourself. It sounds pretty clear to me you do know what's likely best for you right now, and what feels best to you.

Hi Heather

Thank you. I think it would best to wait until late January before deciding anything hopefully I will be hired in the new year

Trust yourself!