Scarleteen

I know HPV has been discussed, and j know it can be spread from the privates (I don't know how explicit I can be here) to the mouth. But i haven't seen my question anywhere online. I developed oral HPV, with the warts in the back of the tongue and everything. I met this really cool girl who's only been with one other guy. So my question is, can my oral Hpv be spread to her privates? I've almost told myself to just be celibate for two years until it clears up.

Yes, you can transmit oral HPV to someone else through contact with their genitals. And just waiting it out may not be an answer. You may well totally shed the virus at some point, including within the next few years, but you also may not. Not everyone sheds it. But you have options, regardless.

Have you two talked yet about your HPV and how both of you would like to manage it as far as what you do and don’t want to do, and safer sex goes?

Heather wrote:Yes, you can transmit oral HPV to someone else through contact with their genitals. And just waiting it out may not be an answer. You may well totally shed the virus at some point, including within the next few years, but you also may not. Not everyone sheds it. But you have options, regardless.

Have you two talked yet about your HPV and how both of you would like to manage it as far as what you do and don’t want to do, and safer sex goes?

Thanks, for the answer. I haven't talked about it with her. I'm worried she'll look at me differently. Sometimes I prefer no sex over completely safe sex, as I believe so much pausing for protection can kill the mood. I'm ok with not having sex, but I get scared she'll lose interest if I don't make some kind of move. I guess the smartest thing to do would be to explain to her why I'm uncomfortable making any moves. She's only had one other partner and she was very safe from what she told me. No oral and they used a condom. I just don't think I could live with myself if I was the one to introduce her body to HPV, regardless of how common it is.

You're absolutely right that a sound next step will be to talk with her about this and get a sense of her feelings on the matter. Depending on her reaction, it may be that you and she can come up with some different ways of being physically intimate that don't pose a risk of transmission. If you want advice on how to disclose your STI status to her, this article is a great resource: When, Where and Why: Telling Your Partner You Have an STI .

I do want to say that, while there is a common belief that pausing to use barrier methods can kill the mood, it's actually pretty easy to have it not be that way. For example, you can have your partner help you put on a condom or you can make sure that the two of you are continuing to kiss and touch each other as you get the protection ready (of course,HPV is an STI where sometimes barrier methods are not always enough to prevent transmission, which you can read more about here: HPV & Herpes: Why Safer Sex Isn't Always Safe Enough ) . Does that make sense?

Also? The more practice you get at using barriers, the better you get at using them. It really doesn’t take much time at all to learn to open up and apply any barrier in no time.
An experienced barrier-user is not at at all likely to have “so much pausing.”

But you’re going to often have a bunch of different pauses with consensual sex involving two or more people anyway. Pausing to communicate, for instance, takes time too, as does all kinds of things like finding positions that work for everyone, adding more lube, or even just using the bathroom.

Lastly, with or without HPV, unless in your life you and your partners just don’t want to protect yourselves from STIs at all, which isn’t likely or advisable, you’re going to have to learn to use barriers anyway.