Scarleteen

Hello
I decided to make new thread, as this has sort of a different question.
What are my options for masturbation or sex when I have a penis but have issues using it for thrusting or penetration? Or even more generally using it how "it's meant to be used"?

Hi Shadowsong,

One of the more common masturbation suggestions I've seen is to use an external vibrator to stimulate the penis, because that allows for potentially pleasurable sensations without requiring thrusting the way something like a masturbation sleeve would. If that's something you'd be interested in trying, do you know where you could find those kinds of toys?

As for partnered sex, you could try a similar technique of having a partner touch your genitals in ways that didn't require thrusting on your part. You could also focus on sexual activities that didn't require any kind of genital insertion, as there are plenty of those that people enjoy. The one thing to keep in mind is that there is likely to be some trial and error involved in figuring out how to be sexual with someone else in a way that doesn't set off your dysphoria, so as much as you can try not to be too hard on yourself if you can't immediately come up with something that works.

I do have insertable vibrators in couple shapes and sizes and a plug, but I'm very dissatisfied with sensations those vibrators provide both inside and outside, or maybe it's my fault for not being tuned into it. I don't have a strictly external vibrator like a magic wand.

I'm somewhat satisfied with anal sex and masturbation (both physically and mentally), but it's also a hustle and annoyance and even dysphoric trigger at times(when whole process becomes unclean) , how messy and demanding(requiring preparation and work) it can be.

Hi ShadowSong,

Is purchasing an external vibrator to try in masturbation something that interests you?

Also, sounds like some challenges are coming up for you around anal sex. Would you like to talk more about that? And potential ways to mitigate the challenges you brought up?

Hi alice

Yes buying external vibrator could interest me, but as of now I'm low on money and I have more important spendings unfortunately. Also I'm not sure, but it seems to me like vibrations don't do it for me, or maybe I don't know how, or maybe the ones I used are just low quality, it's hard to tell. Or maybe front bits just don't work with it ....

For some reason I don't even like calling it anal sex, but lets roll with it for clarity. Yes I do face many challenges with it. It takes a lot of time top get prepared and cleaned up inside, I almost always tend to find something in there. Sometimes the more I try to clean it out, the more of it comes and doesn't seem to stop. It doesn't make it any easier that I live in a house with 2 other people I'm uncomfortable with, and one shared bathroom. Just the whole process is so mood killing, and the fact that vaginal sex can be had most of the time whenever, but this seems like the whole sacrificial ritual with prayers has to be made for it too work, and it's frustrating and uncomfortable and sad. I really don't have any ideas what to do about it. I tried changing my diet, drink more fluid etc.

Hi ShadowSong,

You know a small amount of poop can be a factor in butt-stuff... because it's in the butt! People do try things to minimise it, but accepting a certain amount of potential excrement showing up to the party is probably necessary if you want to explore it more in the future. So long as you have means to sanitise what needs to be sanitised, and clean up whatever needs cleaning afterwards, it can be ok...

I also feel that with partnered sex, the other partner can bring a lot of different energy, whereby what you enjoy in the context of that partnership can be very different from what you enjoy alone. There are things some people only enjoyed once, or with one partner. So this can be something you explore with them, and you may discover things that we never would have thought to suggest.

I'd also say that if a new vibrator sounds like a good idea, and if it is something you would be interested in but just don't have the funds yet, I'd totally validate any inklings you have that it could be considered an important purchase. Your pleasure does matter and is important... so I hope money does come to you somehow.