Masturbation x

[Writersblock]

Hi! I'm an 18 years old and have thought about masturbating like everyone else in the world but I'm too scared to try anything. I can't really find my clit and I'm way too worried about fingering myself even though I want to try these things really badly because I do need to have a release of some kind. I always feel turned on when I'm reading erotic fanfiction but there is no way to relieve myself of those feelings.
Any advice?
Writersblock x

[Alice O]

Hey Writersblock,

Welcome to the boards

Recognizing what it feels like for you to be aroused, and knowing what can bring on that feeling, will be really helpful in exploring masturbation. So it's great that you know erotic fanfiction is something you enjoy.

Can you share a bit more about what is making you feel scared and worried? Then we can address those things together.

Also, you mentioned that you are having a difficult time locating your clitoris. Have you looked at your vulva in a mirror? That's a great way to visually get to know our bodies.

Here are two pieces that you might interested to check out:
Vaginas & vulvas: Innies & Outies: The Vagina, Clitoris, Uterus and More
Masturbation: Is Masturbation Okay? (Yep.)

[Writersblock]

Hi, thanks for getting back to me x

I'm mostly scared incase it hurts and it is by far the most sexual thing that I have ever done before so there is also first time nerves that go along with it.

I have tried looking in the mirror and looking at diagrams but I'm still unable to find it x

[Sam W]

Hi Writersblock,

While it could be possible to cause a little pain or discomfort while trying to masturbate, you're also in total control of the experience, so if something doesn't feel good you can stop entirely or switch to something else. You can also add lube into the mix to help decrease the chances of pain, or focus on stimulating only the outside parts of your genitals if you think inserting your fingers might be uncomfortable. There's not one, specific way you're supposed to masturbate, so you get to do whatever feels good to you. You can read more about that here:
How Do You Masturbate? . Does that make sense?

With finding your clitoris, it may help to keep in mind that an aroused clitoris is going to be more obvious than an unaroused one, so depending on how you're feeling when you're looking it might be more or less obvious where your clitoris is.

[Writersblock]

Thanks for the advice.
There is also the worry of bleeding. I've heard it happens to some people x I'm just a huge worrier.

I only "touch" myself when I'm aroused (after a good story) but still no luck. I also have to be careful since I am living in a university house with 3 other people.

[Sam W]

You're welcome! Bleeding is something that's more likely to happen if you're inserting your fingers (or anything else) without lube, or if you do something like scratch yourself with a fingernail. But, if you're really worried about the possibility of bleeding that's a point in favor of sticking to external stimulation for now.

If you're looking to experiment with different sensations to find something that feels good, you could also add a sex toy into the mix if that's something you're comfortable trying.

[Writersblock]

I am actually planning to buy my first sex toy next week since I am of age now. Just have to be quiet since I am living with room mates with super thin walls. I am looking for one for clitorial simulation since I am still nervous about inserting anything.

[Sam W]

Awesome! And yes, noise concerns are definitely one of the trade-offs for living with roommates. When you're looking for your toy, you may be able to find ones that are specifically designed to be as silent as possible. Are you planning on going to a store to find it or are you buying online?

[Writersblock]

I'm going into the store to buy it using cash since my mum can see the purchases I make with my card.