Condom almost slipped. Possible Risk?

[Derek Simmons]

About 4 months ago, I had sex with a girl. Based on her face and appearance, it looked like she could be a drug user, not sure whether its intravenous or not though. She was a Caucasian female. Out of curiosity, I asked if she allowed unprotected sex, and she said no. Then later she said, “I mean, I’m ok with no condom as long as you don’t cum inside me.” That raised some red flags. Then she said, “But I’m clean.” Then I asked when she was last tested. She replied, “I get tested every 3 months. That’s my life!” Naturally, I know better than to trust some stranger so I didn’t believe her. We started off by doing some deep french kissing, lots of tongue too for about a few minutes. I also licked her nipples with my tongue. Then we moved on to her giving me unprotected oral sex. Before she started, she asked me if I was clean. I said yes. Then she started giving me a blowjob (fellatio). Her tongue swirled around my penis head. The we moved on to protected vaginal sex. First position was cowgirl and the motion got progressively vigorous. Then we changed position to doggystyle. After a while, suddenly the condom nearly slipped out as I thrust inward, covering only a little more below my penis head, but exposing more than half of my penis shaft. My tip was slightly inside her vagina when I immediately froze once I saw it slip. I then used my hand to pull off the condom, grabbing the furthest end that was near the penis head. Then I went to go grab another condom. I then handed it to her and she tore open the wrapper and put in on my penis. But my penis was moderately flaccid at that point when she put it on and it was loose. The size of this condom might have also been too large for me. So I told her to suck on it with the condom on to get it hard again. After sucking it, it got hard again. Then we continue on to missionary position. During the intercourse she rubbed a little area above her vagina with her two fingers during the intercourse. After a few minutes my penis went flaccid or soft again, so I pulled it out with the condom fully intact but loose. I pulled it out with my hand grabbing the base. And went to grab a third condom, gave it to her and she put it on and sucked on it again to get it hard. Then i went back to missionary. It was getting soft again so I used two fingers and pinch both sides of my penis at the base of the shaft to guide it in straight to her vagina as I thrust inward. I was trying to finish with an ejaculation but I couldn’t. As I was pulling out my flaccid penis, the loose condom slipped out and stayed stuck in her vagina. I couldn’t remember if it was me or her that took out the condom though. Then we were done.

The day after, I was pondering whether I was at risk of exposure. 3 days later, I started having muscle twitches in various parts of my body such as thighs, legs, and arms. I also started to have sharp stabbing pains coming and going all over different parts of my body. My inner ear lobes were itching. I also had a few joint pain instances particularly on my fingers. I also had some muscle aches and tension, mostly on my right forearm. Roughly around 3 weeks after that suspected exposure an itchy mosquito bite-like bump appeared on my left forearm, but went away after a few hours. Could possibly be hives. A few weeks later another one appeared on my left calf. Then again on my left forearm in the same exact spot a week or so later. At around 3 weeks a little pink blotch appeared on one of my right knuckles and another one on my face to the right of my nose at over 3 months post incident. I also had a sharp pain on the left side of my head that lasted for 30 minutes at over 3 months post incident. Also at that time I woke up from bed one night with a little sweat around my neck and collar. Maybe it was a hot flash and not an actual night sweat otherwise my whole pillow would’ve been drenched. This happened at over 3 months post incident.

Hypothetically, if the woman was HIV positive, was there a possible risk of exposure based on any of the actions discussed above? Is it somewhat possible that I may have mishandled the switching of new condoms and her vaginal fluid might have crept inward towards my urethra underneath the condom? Maybe when condom was loose? When she did fellatio on the condom trying to harden me? Or maybe during the intercourse motion? Maybe her saliva on my penis from the blowjob caused the condom to slip out. I know that kissing an oral sex had negligible risk. I wasn’t sure if she had any sores, cuts, or bleeding gums in her mouth. Now I regret for not checking beforehand.

I am absolutely terrified. I can’t sleep well. I can’t focus on my everyday tasks. My anxiety is off the charts. My twitching, stabbing pains, and muscle aches hasn’t went away. I’m not exactly sure what’s causing these symptoms. Could it be a possible infection, other STDs/STIs, my anxiety, or something else? It’s been over 4 months and I know I could’ve tested at 3 months but I held it off because I wasn’t psychologically ready to take it. I’m so afraid. Sorry for the lengthy question, but I thought it was necessary to be specific. I need some clarity, and hopefully a peace of mind when I go get tested. Thank you.

[Sam W]

Hi Derek,

For starters, if you haven't yet been to a healthcare provider to check on the symptoms you're having, you should do so as soon as possible. Unexplained pains, especially if they're ongoing, are the kind of thing you want to have a healthcare provider look into to make sure there isn't an underlying cause that needs treating.

As for risks, you can read about what activities pose what kind of risks in this article: Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That? . If the condom that slipped all the way off was hanging out of the vagina when it did so, then it's unlikely there was a transmission risk because the fluids weren't being exchanged. But, if you remain concerned about STIs, as you pointed out the next step you need to take is to get tested.