Condom Holes & Unsatisfying Sex

[Sam W]

Hi sendhelp,

If condoms break they break in a way that is very, very noticeable as soon as you look at the condom. You won't be dealing with a tiny hole, you'll be dealing with a big tear. So unless you see a big tear, you can assume the condom did its' job.

You mentioned that this latest sexual encounter left you feeling unsatisfied in a way that suggests that this isn't the first time this has happened. Sexual encounters between partners can, and really should, be pleasurable and satisfying for everybody regardless of the genders of the people involved. Can you give me a sense of how much, if any, conversation you and your boyfriend have had about what activities make either (or both) of you feel good during sex?

[Sendhelp]

Well, we've talked a little bit about foreplay and what helps me feel good and what to do better to make him feel good, but when it comes to sex we didn't talk much about that. And it feels great but like it never really last long enough to get me over that edge I guess

[Sam W]

Got it. While it's great that you're doing at least some communicating, it sounds like there's still more to discuss. What if, before you two have sex again, you sat down and talked about this list: Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist ? It would give you two a roadmap talking about what does (and does not) feel good for both of you during all parts of sex. Too, what do you think would happen if you asked him to continue doing sexual things to you until you did feel satisfied or had an orgasm?