Scarleteen

Shortly after leaving my last relationship, I started talking to a girl I had sexted and casually talked to for a couple of months over the last few years in between me dating other people. I'm definitely taking a relationship break for awhile, but it was nice to have someone to talk to. I visited her over the weekend, and we ended up in bed together (perhaps unexpected, but not at all unwelcome). Due to circumstances beyond either of our control, all we did was touch each other (fingering and a handjob). She was going to give me a blowjob, but I wasn't up for it at the time. One of the reasons is that I want for us to get tested before we did anything with more risks (I worry about everything, and this would be something less to worry about).

I do need to bring this up with her sometime, although I'm sure if she hasn't been tested recently, she seems as if she would be understanding and willing to do so. That only leaves me. I was tested a few years ago, in between I messed around with a few people, I only engaged in higher-risk behaviors with my ex-girlfriend, who assured me she had gotten tested after every partner she had. So I would also like to get tested along with my new FWB. That leaves some issues, though.

I have no current doctor where I live now. Fortunately, there are two health centers (including a Planned Parenthood) nearby that offer STI/STD testing. One of the main issues is insurance. I am still on my parents insurance, probably until the end of the year when I graduate and get a full-time job. Insurance isn't the problem, however, it's the fact that its my parents insurance. Meaning all the claims, whether they are covered or require a copay, will go to them. They're quite religious, and (especially my father) very right-wing, so having a claim from Planned Parenthood would undoubtedly not go well. And the other place (some state health place), I would still not have a good reason. They ask too many questions.

Part of me just wants to go through with it, and tell them there's nothing to be worried about, and it's none of their business. Which it isn't. I know I need to get this done, but I'm just not sure how to go about it.

Before anything else (and hello again, by the way ), I would call your local Planned Parenthood and ask them about their billing. Ask them how their billing shows up on insurance paperwork: it may or may not even list their name on the paperwork patients get in the first place.

If they say that it DOES, then you can ask them about using their sliding-scale fee for a cash pay instead, which they often can apply to young people who only have their parents insurance coverage.

Alternately, if the other place you're talking about is public health, then chances are awfully good the paperwork your parents would get won't give away what that visit was about at all, but again, you could certainly call and ask them.

Hello Heather, it's been awhile, I'm pleasantly surprised you remember me. Much appreciated for the reply, I was thinking about calling and seeing what they said, so I'll do that tomorrow. I'll look into the sliding-scale fee, that would be a good idea. If they ask if I have insurance, should I tell them I do and the reasoning for not wanting to go through my insurance? Or just say I don't have insurance?

You should go ahead and tell them you have insurance, but that it is your parents and that you are concerned about using it because of disapproval, just like you told us here. They are very familiar with this, and it's one of the reasons their sliding scale can usually be applied to patients who do have insurance, just not their own.

Thank you, Heather, that sounds like a plan.

Sure thing. Feel free to holler back at me if any of that doesn't get you sorted.

Just thought I'd leave an update, I had my appointment yesterday. Aside from the waiting times (I was there about two hours from getting there to leaving), it went by just fine. They were also completely understanding of my desire to not use my parent's insurance, and I was able to pay cash after the appointment. Everyone there was nice, too. Thanks for all the help, Heather!

Fantastic!