Scarleteen

So my relationship with my girlfriend is going amazing! I feel a lot closer to her than I did when I was in a relationship with a guy. When it comes to sex, she’s usually the dominant one and I do like it that way, but I would like to change it up and try being the dominant one. I was wondering if I could ask for some advice on that?

Hi Volleygirl,

Glad to hear your relationship is still going well! Talking about roles with a partner is like talking about any other element of sex: being honest and open to at least a little bit of trial and error goes a long way. If you haven't looked at this article before, or need a refresher on it, it gives a ton of advice on how to talk about different sexual things with your partner: Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner . When your bringing up being interested in switching your roles up, it may also help to mention what's making you interested in it (even if the answer is," because I'm curious") and if there are any specific activities you'd like to try. That gives the two of your a starting point for exploring this dynamic.

(Too, it may help for both of you to remember that there doesn’t have to be a “dominant one” in the first place. One partner being dominant and the other submissive is one way to be sexual together, but not the only way. You can also be sexual together in ways where everyone involved is active or initiating. )