Scarleteen

Hi there I'm a transgender woman i wear female clothing and randomly keep getting erections whenever i wear said clothing. I haven't undergone any surgery yet due to low income so its awkward when i do get an erection. Id also like to add i don't find anything I'm doing sexual or find anything sexy about it its just something i do to feel comfortable with myself. I've read online about people similar to what I'm explaining but it seemed all fetish based and i didn't feel that was the case for me. I am seeing my therapist regularly but i would feel so embarrassed to ask this, so if you could help with any tips or thoughts id appreciate it so much

Also another question is there a way to prevent erections or am i stuck like this?

Thanks Again!!!

Hi Echoshy,

Since it sounds like this isn't related to arousal, it may be that certain things you're wearing end up rubbing your genitals in a way that accidentally stimulates them, leading to an unwanted erection. Have you noticed if the surprise erections seem to happen more if you're wearing certain types of underwear or clothes?

I don't believe it has to do with the clothing im wearing i typically wear a bra, tanktop and regular underwear (boxers which are comfy and dont rub against the area). Before i used to only use bra's when i first started dressing as a female but even then it would occasionally cause an erection. Today i did try not having a bra on to see if that helps but it made no difference so I'm not sure whats causing it. And or what to do to prevent it

also i had a thought is it possible because I'm so relaxed and calm when wearing female clothing that's whats maybe causing the erections or am i just crazy? lol

Thanks for the response

In terms of what you can do about erections, period, are you engaging in any kind of medical (hormones, not surgery) transition yet?

I would encourage you to talk about this with your therapist. Honestly, if they're going to be the right therapist for you in this, they're going to need to be someone you can talk with about things exactly like this. Might you be willing to go ahead and try talking with them, even though it makes you uncomfortable? Or do you just feel like they are not someone you can be open with about your body, period?

In terms of what you can do on a practical level right now, or over time, you might want to try ditching your boxers and trying something like a strong compression undergarment instead (like Spanx or bicycle shorts, for example).

Because of medical issues i am unable to do hormones at all. My therapist i speak with is open to talking to me about a lot of things but i would feel uncomfortable talking about the erections. Also i will definitely look at buying some spanx if you indeed think the undergarments are the issue

Okay, thanks for filling me in.

Well, the undergarments aren't likely causing erections. What's likely causing erections is what causes erections: that there is a penis and corresponding hormones and it is responding to basic stimuli, whether that's about what's in your mind, external stimulus, or both.

However, you might find it helps to wear something that basically better binds the penis, for lack of a better word, and where even when you do experience erection, it's less obvious because you have a garment on where it will show less. That there are garments like this that are probably more in alignment with how you want to dress anyhow to better affirm your gender is just a maybe-bonus.

Do you want help finding a therapist who you CAN also talk with about issues like this?

I do have a therapist that i feel that i can talk to about this i do have social anxiety but i will suck it up and talk with them about it.

Ill also definitely be getting spanx then i didn't realize it could help

Thanks again lol

They might, they might not. So I'd start with a cheap kind first.

In terms of talking to someone, one way to get started that might feel easier for you is to give them a note about it or send them an email. Sometimes breaking this kind of ice without having to say it out loud from the start can feel more comfortable.

Ive got their phone number ill send a text closer to time when i have an appointment next.

Thanks for the tips i appreciate it you've been a tremendous help

Glad to be of help.