i have a wonderful friend. i met him in impatient, and he has been there for me ever since i laid eyes on him.
the thing is, I have feelings for him, and he has feelings for me. you would think, that it would work out for both of us.
there are 2 issues though:
1. he's 18
2. I'm 13
there's a 5 year age gap, but i really love him. i don't know what to do. i know its illegal for a adult to date a minor, but god i love him so much. by the time i turn 18, he will be 23, out of collage, and probably have a wife.
should i ask him him to wait for me, or just let him go?
-saturn
what do i do
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floweronsaturn
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Alice O
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Re: what do i do
Hey Saturn,
I know it can be really hard when we have feelings for someone, but given your current age (young) and given the size of the age difference (big), it would be sound to let him go.
You should look at this piece: Why I Deeply Dislike Your Older Boyfriend. Likely some of it won't be relevant to you, but also some of it probably will. One thing it says is, "I feel like he knows--and enjoys--that he has more power than you do right now due to his age or gender, and that rather than seeking to share it, or helping you nurture and own your own power, he wants to keep his power, and take yours from you to have it all for himself. And I know that he knows that age matters, despite his telling you, or agreeing with you, that it doesn't." A 13 year old and an 18 year old are going to be at different points in their lives, have different amounts of power in our world, and have different rights, which makes having an equitable healthy relationship really tough. In addition to all this, if a 13-year old and 18 year old were dating, having intercourse would be illegal. Given age of consent laws in the US it would be considered statutory rape, since the 13 year old would be considered too young to give consent. Does all that make sense? How do you feel about all this?
I saw you haven't recently posted in your other thread "Is it that bad" where you mentioned you were living in an unsafe situation. Have been able to stay with a friend? And have you contacted any local resources?
(I also want to check in with you about your profile. You list your age as 17. If you are actually 13, you should change that. If you are actually 17, please be honest with us in your posts about how old you are.)
I know it can be really hard when we have feelings for someone, but given your current age (young) and given the size of the age difference (big), it would be sound to let him go.
You should look at this piece: Why I Deeply Dislike Your Older Boyfriend. Likely some of it won't be relevant to you, but also some of it probably will. One thing it says is, "I feel like he knows--and enjoys--that he has more power than you do right now due to his age or gender, and that rather than seeking to share it, or helping you nurture and own your own power, he wants to keep his power, and take yours from you to have it all for himself. And I know that he knows that age matters, despite his telling you, or agreeing with you, that it doesn't." A 13 year old and an 18 year old are going to be at different points in their lives, have different amounts of power in our world, and have different rights, which makes having an equitable healthy relationship really tough. In addition to all this, if a 13-year old and 18 year old were dating, having intercourse would be illegal. Given age of consent laws in the US it would be considered statutory rape, since the 13 year old would be considered too young to give consent. Does all that make sense? How do you feel about all this?
I saw you haven't recently posted in your other thread "Is it that bad" where you mentioned you were living in an unsafe situation. Have been able to stay with a friend? And have you contacted any local resources?
(I also want to check in with you about your profile. You list your age as 17. If you are actually 13, you should change that. If you are actually 17, please be honest with us in your posts about how old you are.)