Scarleteen

Hi! I am a middle school girl and we just started another sex talk series. We were supposed to go home and talk to our parents about their opinions on sex and my mom had very, very, veryyyyy, strong ones. She said that sex was only for married couples, and only to make children, and NOT for pleasure. I completely disagree, sex is supposed to be pleasurable, and it is totally ok! She said that if she ever found out that one of my friends has had sex, I would be blocked off from them, and if I ever had sex, I would be cut off from my family. She didn't mention anything about our religion, where there are no "rules" against sex and sexual orientation. Also, because I am starting to get more hormonal as a teen, I often want to masturbate, but my room is right next to my parents, and I am not allowed to take long showers (if you know what I mean ) Help!

Hi thecrow,

Ooof, it can be really tricky when you realize that your beliefs and values about sex don't line up with those of your parents. She has been pretty explicit in her statements, which means that you now know that if a friend were to tell you that they were sexually active, that's something you'd need to not tell her (although really it's best to not talk about people's sex lives without their permission). Too, when you hit a point in your life when you're considering being sexually active, your mom's threats will have to be one of many things you factor into your decision about whether or not to do certain sexual things. Does that make sense?

With masturbation, how much privacy do you have when you're in your room? Does it have a lock on the door?