Man's and penis having bodies - feeling of inferiority

[ShadowSong21]

Hello
I was wondering whether I should post this discussion here or Bodies section, so if I guessed wrong please, move it or something ^^

Lately I've read a lot of people's opinions, mostly penis owners about their feeling of inferiority when it comes to creating pregnancies, sexual complexity, and social status through the lens of sexuality, reproduction and role in a stereotypical family.
Main concerns are that they feel as mere sperm donors for the process of pregnancy as it takes place in uterus' owners body. Their feeling of glorification of pregnancy and social awe around it and care that is being socially presented for pregnant people. Favoring "mothers" as single parents over "fathers" is another cause of this feeling of inferiority, especially when it's up to decision of court to choose the main parent.
In case of penis owner being a victim of a sexual assault it is much less frowned upon, then when it's vulva owner. Even more so, when that ends up creating a pregnancy.
And lastly when it comes to vulva owning people, there is so much talk every where about sexual health and sexual practices, and it's much harder to stumble upon those type of discussions or articles about penis owning people. There are talks about periods, vaginal infections, vaginal pH, clitoris and it's stimulation, labia, vaginal penetration/masturbation, nipple stimulation, and much more about erogenous zones around neck and so forth.
When it comes to penis owners it's always about the D, and it's just "stroke until you finish" or "penetrate until you finish" ... nothing else. There is barely any talk about other kinds of stimulation, variety of sex toys is tremendously smaller, and there is almost completely nothing about sexual health or practices, or products for that.
All that combined as media/social message can create a big feeling of inferiority for some, in my opinion even more likely when penis owner does feel like stereotypical masculinity fit them well or want to aim for it, or if they don't identify as a man.
What do you think about that? Do you feel like it's justified feeling? Does it have to do only with media and messages, or does it have roots in reality as well? How could it be combated if at all?

[Sam W]

Hi Shadowsong,

I think that much of this is a mixture of identifying real things, believing old myths, and (sometimes) reacting to a change in the status quo. For instance, there is a genuine issue with how men who survive sexual assault are treated (although it's not like women who are survivors get a kind treatment from the public or the media in many cases), and the stigma that male victims face needs to be addressed. However, the "women get custody more than men" thing isn't supported by the data (when men ask for custody they are generally granted it), but it is commonly repeated idea that many people end up believing, so it ends up influencing how men think society views them as parents.

A lot of mainstream presentations of men's sexuality and bodies is very reductive, which is shame because it encourages very narrow views of what men are supposed to enjoy or do sexually. But there are inclusive resources out there (ours included) if people look for them. We actually address some of the issues with common ways people talk about men in this article: http://www.scarleteen.com/blog/heather_ ... erybody_up
With pregnancy, there is the fact that the person who deals the most with the effects and fall-out is the person carrying the pregnancy. So at a certain point much of the discussion about pregnancy will focus on that person because there's more information to be conveyed, not because there's something "less-than" about the co-creator of the pregnancy. Does that make sense?

[ShadowSong21]

Hey Sam
Yeah I know, that woman sexual assault survivors aren't still treated how they should be but I still think men and penis having people have it much worse.
When it comes to custody, I don't know if you speak of international data or is it localized but here where I live, I'd argue it's far from being a myth.
It's really sad to me that actual care about themselves and actual feelings towards by men and penis having people is seen as reaction to changing status quo. Of course there are many situations where men actually get upset over women gaining rights, but there are many areas as well where men are oppressed, and fighting that during "an era of woman's liberation" can falsely be seen as reaction to woman gaining rights, or changing the status quo.
Also you never addressed my part talking about how many materials and discussions there are about sexual health and pleasure of women and vagina havers, and how many products there are for them in that area, vs men and penis havers.
And the article you linked me is only about raising men and boys in socially constructed box of toxic masculinity, which was a good read, alas it doesn't talk about any ways men and penis havers can experience pleasure, for which I still argue that there is way less materials then for vagina havers, and techniques that are talked about are much more narrow.

[Alice O]

Hey ShadowSong21,

It seems like you are primarily interested in arguing a point--or a set of points. From what you posted, I think I'm getting a clear sense of your beliefs right now on this subject. It's possible that you and member(s) of the Scarleteen staff may feel differently about certain elements of this issue, and that is OK.

Sam shared some of the resources that we have available on our website. But since it sounds like this is a bigger interest of yours, I would encourage you to do some research on your own to see what you find!

[ShadowSong21]

Hey Alice
Of course it is OK if other members of the board have different feelings and opinions about this subject
I just presented a set of feelings that, I've heard other people have, and provided possible reasons for them from what those people were saying as well as trying to come up with my own. Whether those feelings are objectively justified or not, I just was interested in seeing how other people think those work with outside factors like media and society standards, and what could be done to ease those feelings.
My point wasn't necessarily to argue whether those feelings had a logical, objective reasons to be there ( as we know not everything humans feel is proportional to what the cause is, or straightforward or logical ), and try to convince others that they are, but ponder more on the symptoms themselves rather than argue over the validity of cause :3
If I appeared to be too harsh or zealous, I'm sorry, that wasn't my intention.
Also I've been doing a lot of my own research, and at this point, I'm also curious what other people can provide me with, as we as individuals tend to research within our own biases and bubbles often not realizing it, and we might miss a great deal of information that others have not.

Have a wonderful day!

[Siân]

Hi ShadowSong

I'm not quite sure exactly what kind of info you're after. If you're looking for articles specifically related to penises or people with penises then we have tags for that: http://www.scarleteen.com/tags/penis and this one http://www.scarleteen.com/tags/male

It sounds like you were interested on info about pleasure, toys etc. Our article on pleasure is for anyone, regardless of their individual anatomy, and our D.I.Y. Sex Toys: Self-Love Edition article has info for all kinds of genitals.

[ShadowSong21]

Hey Sian
I mostly just felt like discussing that occurrence. I probably got misunderstood.
I know that Scarleteen does it's best to be inclusive and fight stigma and bad myths, but so many more sites do the opposite and mainstream media as well. Well I guess nevermind then... Thanks