i really need advice

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avaiara
not a newbie
Posts: 48
Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2016 1:30 pm
Age: 25
Awesomeness Quotient: my eyes
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: bisexual
Location: michigan

i really need advice

Unread post by avaiara »

hi,
i promise i’m not as bad of a person as this makes me sound. i’ve been with my boyfriend off and on for about 1 year and 6 months. recently, though, i’ve noticed myself liking another guy. we’ll call him mike. mike and i are coworkers and we get along very well and i enjoy being around him.
i’ve also felt myself starting to fall out of love with my boyfriend, but he’s still very in love with me. he seemed to think something was off and went into a whole conversation about how he loves me and doesn’t want to lose me, and then he asked me if i liked mike. i didn’t answer because i didn’t know what to say.
i don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but if i have feelings for someone other than my boyfriend, i think i need to end things. help? :(
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Jacob
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 1066
Joined: Tue Jul 29, 2014 3:33 am
Age: 35
Primary language: English
Pronouns: They
Location: Leeds UK

Re: i really need advice

Unread post by Jacob »

Hi Avaiara!

I don't think this makes you a bad person at all! You can't control being attracted to mike, or the fact that all relationships including the one with your boyfriend change over time, and sometimes that includes our feelings changing and not wanting to be in that relationship any more.

I do think it's perfectly ok to stay in a relationship if you are attracted to another person in addition to your partner... but if you feel like you aren't happy in this relationship itself then it sounds like maybe it's coming to an end anyway and that can be nothing to do with mike.

You might find these useful:

Getting Through a Breakup Without Actually Breaking
How can I break up without hurting my boyfriend's feelings and ending our friendship?
"In between two tall mountains there's a place they call lonesome.
Don't see why they call it lonesome.
I'm never lonesome when I go there." Connie Converse - Talkin' Like You
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Jacob
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 1066
Joined: Tue Jul 29, 2014 3:33 am
Age: 35
Primary language: English
Pronouns: They
Location: Leeds UK

Re: i really need advice

Unread post by Jacob »

And here is another one:

Should I Stay or Should I Go?
"In between two tall mountains there's a place they call lonesome.
Don't see why they call it lonesome.
I'm never lonesome when I go there." Connie Converse - Talkin' Like You
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