Scarleteen

My partner I are in a committed relationship but we never had intercourse. We tried early on, but we both had some issues that made it difficult and went on to try other forms of sex but neither of us seems to really seek it out. We love each and do not do sexual things with others. He says he never even needs to masturbate. I have tried to (per my therapist as I have some sexual identity issues and this was to get more comfortable with myself I suppose) ...but I was bored. I'd rather laugh with someone until I can't breath or sit and do separate activities together. But I've always wanted a relationship with a man, but if my partner or any future partner just flat our said sex wasn't something they wanted, I could live with that. Does that make me asexual or my partner, even though we are attracted to each other?

Hi there! I'd say there are differences in usage but a lot of it is about personal choice.

So there are communities who are more likely to use asexuality, and the idea of a spectrum of asexuality(and other corresponding scales) to describe how they feel about partnered sex and identify as 'asexual' or otherwise, whereas other people might use the idea of a 'sex drive' to describe how they feel about similar things without the identity part... just by saying they have a lower or higher sex drive than their partner or others.

I know people who found the idea of asexuality really powerful because it links them to people in a similar situation. At the same time there are plenty of people that doesn't work for... they might feel their desires and such change over time and the idea of something like a 'sex drive' makes that easier to describe.

So yep, your terminology is a choice!