Scarleteen

Hi, my boyfriend and I just broke up 2 weeks ago. He said it was nothing to do with me- it was because he was graduating college and didn't want to do long distance as we had originally planned. He said he still cares about me and wants to be in my life, but we have barely talked since the breakup. I really miss him and really need him right now- my grandma is dying of cancer and I feel really, really alone. I'm scared to reach out to him because I'm scared he'll ignore me, and I feel like he hates me. Does he hate me? I just want to know that he cares about me.

Hi hannahbanana,

I'm so sorry the break-up has been rough for you, and that it comes at the same time as an emotionally difficult family situation. The thing is that, ultimately, only he can tell you how he feels about you or whether he's in a place to support you right now. While there are plenty of exes who go on to have supportive friendships, the likelihood that either of you is in the best place for that is low given that the break-up is fresh. You can try reaching out once for his support if you keep a few things in mind: he might choose not to support you, or need more space after the break-up, and that may bring up even more hard feelings for you. Too, it may help to consider how having him support you right now will influence your own ability to heal after the break-up. Does that make sense?

Since it sounds like support is something you need right now, are there friends in your life who you could reach out to? Other family members who you're close to? Or was he your main support system?

You may also find these articles helpful right now, both in terms of the break-up and the other life stuff you're facing right now: Getting Through a Breakup Without Actually Breaking
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