stressed about results

[phantom_dog]

hello! on tuesday i went to my community health center and got tested for chlamydia and gonorrhea on tuesday, and then on thursday i was told i tested negative for those (:D) as well as getting blood drawn to be tested for syphilis and hiv. they told me they would call back in a day or two ONLY if i tested positive. it's saturday and i haven't received a call from them. logically i know that's good news and almost definitely means i'm hiv-negative but i'm a very nervous and constantly anxious person so my mind still isn't at ease - what if they called while my phone was off? what if they didn't call because their hiv department is closed on weekends (and other stress filled thoughts). so i decided to call the health center and inquire about the results and the receptionist told me that she can't give me my results since that department is closed on weekends and i can call back on tuesday after this memorial day weekend. so basically i'm very stressed despite my reasoning telling me i'm being irrational.

i don't think it's very likely i have hiv -- my partner and i have always used protection except one time during oral sex, but even then i did not make much contact with his vaginal fluids so i don't know why i'm worried. i don't know how much yall can do, but if there's anything you can do that could ease my mind a bit i would greatly appreciate it!

[moonlight]

Hey terezichan, you mention that you are often nervous and anxious. Are you currently getting any help for your anxiety? If so, what are some of the techniques you have learned that you find helpful to deal with other anxiety-inducing situations?

Since right now, all you can do is wait, you may find it helps to keep busy. We have a great article Self-Care a La Carte which has a list ideas of self-care activities that you may find helpful while you wait until Tuesday.

[phantom_dog]

i'm not getting help unfortunately, and the only mechanisms i really have for anxiety are when i'm having a panic attack, nothing to distract from anxious thoughts.

i checked out that article and i've been trying to do some of the ideas there, so thank you for that!

[Sam W]

Hi terezichan,

I'm glad to hear the article was helpful! With accessing mental healthcare, are you interested in getting some help managing your anxiety? If so, what are the biggest barriers to you being able to access that help?

[phantom_dog]

i am interested in that, and previously i was seeing a therapist but then my mom just kind of stopped making my appointments. if i had my therapist's number i would make the appointments myself because i do have my insurance card and what have you, but every time i ask my mom to make an appointment she gets annoyed because she thinks by now i should have learned mastery over my anxiety or whatever. tensions at my house right now are really high and basically everything makes her get very agitated so i'm not really in the mood to put up with that added stress, so for the most part i'm just doing me and taking care of my own things and staying out of her way.

but on a positive note, my partner got tested today and he and i are both hiv negative, so this stressor is out of mind!

[moonlight]

Hey terezichen,

Glad to hear that the stressor of waiting for those test results is out of the way.

Since you say you would be comfortable making appointments with your therapist if you had their number, have you considered getting their number? For instance, if you know their name, the name of the place where they work, or the address where you attended your appointments, a quick Google search may yield their number.

If you decide, however, that you'd prefer to have your mom make the appointments, then it may help to have a strategy about how you would bring it up with her. Are there any strategies that have worked for you in the past to talk to your mom about things that are important to you? What about using one of those strategies now?

Lastly, are there any other resources (such as a school Counsellor) that you are able to access on your own?