Unprotected anial sex after birth

[Alex_mary]

I had my baby 1 week ago and got the birth control shot before i left the hospital. Last night i had unprotected anail sex because i have stitches from birth. I dont know if im just over reacting but is there a chance i could be pregnant again?

[Sam W]

Hi Alex_Mary,

Anal sex poses a low risk of pregnancy under certain circumstances, which you can read about here: Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That? . However, since the shot generally reaches its full effectiveness within 24 hours of being administered, you'd should have had full protection from that.

How are you feeling in general after giving birth? Do you feel like you have the supports and resources you need?

[Alex_mary]

I just had my daugther shes 1 week old. Im only 16.

[Sam W]

That's quite a lot to be dealing with. Can you describe your support system to me a bit? For instance, do you have any family helping you out while you recover from giving birth? Or a partner? Are there any kinds of support or resources you wish you had that you don't?

[Alex_mary]

No i have support. My family and my boyfriend but i am young and dont think i can handle 2. Not now

[Sam W]

That's a completely understandable feeling, and I'm glad to hear you have support. As I said, given the activity you engaged in and the fact you're on the shot, you're likely safe from pregnancy. Since the biggest risk from unprotected sex is STI transmission rather than pregnancy, do you know you and your partner's STI status?

Since you're very clear on not wanting to get pregnant again anytime soon, can I ask why a condom wasn't used this last time?

[Alex_mary]

We have both been tested before and were . and it was in the moment and we didnt have one

[Heather]

Can I also check in on you about if sex is even something you wanted/want for yourself (not just because a partner wants it) right now?

I ask because it is pretty unusual for someone to be feeling big desire for sex so soon after birth, and if you had an episiotomy, even anal sex probably didn’t feel good and might have even hurt.

[Alex_mary]

Well i did want it. It was concentual. And it did hurt at first but it was fine.

[Sam W]

Anal sex, or really any kind of sex, shouldn't be hurting (and when it does, it's usually a sign to stop and maybe come back to that activity later). In order to be pleasurable, anal sex needs a lot of lube and a lot of patience. Too, in all honesty, engaging in something that hurt at first and then only turned out to be "fine" doesn't sound like a great trade off.

With the anal sex, was it something you initiated or were excited about/wanted to engage in? Or was it something your partner suggested and you agreed to for another reason?

[Alex_mary]

Yes i was exicted about it.

[Sam W]

Got it. Do you feel like, if you were to try this again in the future and it was painful you'd be comfortable asking your partner to stop? Also, to make sure I've got the situation right, is your partner also 16?

[Heather]

I don't want to pile on, but before I bug out of this, I do just want to make sure your healthcare providers even said it was okay to be having any kind of sex right now, especially unprotected (which creates bacterial risks that are an extra big deal right after birth and with your stitches). If not, and it would be pretty standard for them to suggest at least a couple weeks of not genital sex, I'd strongly encourage you and your partner to follow that advice for your health.

If they DID okay anal sex (again, I'd be surprised, but who knows), and you also want to do it, at the very least, I'd make sure it is protected from now on. If you can take care of a baby, the least your partner can do is take care of getting condoms, you know?

[Alex_mary]

Yes thank you

[Sam W]

Is there anything else you're looking for support or information around right now, or a way that we can best support you right now? We've given you a lot of information and ideas all at once, so it's totally okay if you need time to process them, and you can always come back later to ask other things. It's also totally okay to ask about things that haven't come up in this conversation but that you're looking for help around.

[Alex_mary]

Ok thank you