Scarleteen

I've been a member of the Scarleteen community for about a decade at this point. It has been a critical part of helping me through difficult times, and for my own personal growth.

However, I will be turning 28 soon. I've noticed ever since I graduated college, I have restrained myself from coming to scarleteen for help with issues for 2 reasons:

a) I have started to feel guilty using resources that are designed for an age/lifestyle demographic that I no longer belong to
b) I feel like the things I want to talk about are becoming less and less about the topics that Scarleteen focusus on.

That being said, forum discussions and bouncing ideas off people with the added benefit of the anonymity that the internet provides has become a pretty critical part of the way I tackle/process things in my life. It has all the benefits of journaling, but the feedback makes it more helpful and gratifying for me. I'd really like to keep it as a part of my life.

So my question is, does anyone know what else is out there? I would love to find a similar forum/website designed for a slightly older demographic.

The thing is, moderation and posting guidelines is a must for me. I would not feel comfortable going to a place where flame wars and harassment are tolerated.

So, does anyone know of a website like this?

It truly is fine, per your first point, to still use our resources. We just ask that people over 30 recognize that when it's busy, we're going to put them last after younger users, that's all. It's okay to still be here.

But, obviously, if it isn't meeting your needs by itself, or at all, that's a different matter! Can you fill me in a little more on what kinds of different topics besides sex, health and relationships you're looking for? I might have some ideas if I knew what it was you were looking to talk about.

Mind, you're not likely to find much, if anything, moderated like we do here. That's always been a serious anomaly with us when it comes to anything online. I wish it were different, but alas.

Really, I do feel like you guys (especially the people who have been here longer and thus, aged along with me) totally meet the requirements I'm looking for. I know you would be just as good at supporting me as you always have been, but I don't feel like a lot of my topics would be relevant or helpful to other readers. To illustrate, I'll post some examples of things:

1) the kind of weird dynamic my relationship with my mom regarding my sister, and sort uf unwillingly being forced into some kind of therapist/co-parent role.

2) Some uncomfortable feelings about how long it's been since I have been sexual with anyone.

3) Financial stresses and balancing adult responsibilities with finally enjoying my life.

4) The lack of social interaction that has developed as I see progressively less of my friends due to both geographic separation and everyone getting married.

So, again, all things that you all could definitely talk about with me, but not teen and early twenties issues.

I did think that it would be difficult to find a space as safe as Scarleteen is.

But, if you guys don't mind and I'm not being inappropriate, I would still like to stick with the people I know/trust

I don't mind at all (especially me, you should know by now I am always glad to see you around here ), but obviously, a couple of these things -- like general family dynamics -- aren't things we can help with.

I wonder if for some of these things, you might look into things like creating (or using existing) closed groups on Facebook or other social media?

I have a pretty big dislike for using facebook for anything besides posting occasional pictures and keeping up with family. Everything seems to get so heated there. Not to mention, you're supposed to use your real name.

But, it's ok about the family dynamics. I do have a therapist, and that is something that I can talk about to friends or other family members sometimes.

I guess for now the plan will be to keep using it for things that are relevant, and rely on other sources for the things that aren't. Thanks!

I hear you, for sure. Closed groups with a super-specific focus do, though, in my experience, tend to be very different than posts where your family and friends are involved. And you can lurk in them for a while to be sure they're what you want, and just opt out and never say a word if not.

Let me ask around a little, though. I could use some suggestions for things like this for more than just you, anyway. I'll give a shout if anything good comes across my radar! And, of course, maybe someone else will chime in here who already knows of another place they like.

Hey Atonement, you might be interested in some Reddit subs that are set up as communities of people who post and support each other on certain issues. While I'm pretty sure there aren't closed groups and anyone on the internet can see what you've posted even if they aren't logged in, you don't have to include your name or any other identifying details. You'll get the occasional troll, but most subreddits (especially the ones set up for people to support each other) have thorough moderators and rules about posting.

I always forget there are some solid groups on Reddit. Thanks, amity!