Scarleteen

I identify as a queer woman. (Queer means I date men, women, non-binary, etc. and I don’t really put a limit on my sexuality) I really want to come out to my religious grandparents, they will be alright with it but they won’t know what queer means and they don’t believe in more than 2 genders. I don’t know what to say to them and how to do it. I think I might get too scared and back down.

Hi Penny-Lane,

One thing that might be helpful is to think about what your desired outcome of coming out to them is. For instance, if you mainly want them to know that you're not straight and that the way you identify as queer, that might be a simpler conversation than if you want them to fully grasp "queer" as a concept. When you know what you want to communicate with the conversation, that can make it easier to prepare for and approach. Does that make sense?

If you haven't seen it already, this article offers some really solid advice for how to come out and could be helpful to you right now: Don't Let the Door Hit You on the Way Out

My two cents, Penny Lane, is that you could test the waters by talking about queerness around them and seeing how they react! Talking about a queer "friend" and see how much they understand the concept. That way you can test the waters to see how much they know, and what their inclination towards these concepts are.