Scarleteen

Hello,

I am writing this because I have not been myself lately. It's been going on for months now, and I don't know if I should go to therapy or not for this. I've always been the type to overthink situations before and after they happen. Often, I feel alone. Like there's no one I can talk to that could ease my mind off of overthinking too much. I feel like me and my best friend have fallen off so long ago, and by us living together this year makes us even more distant from one another. I often blame myself that maybe if I was myself to her that we would be close as ever, and now she's building new best friendships with other people. And yes, I do admit that I am insecure about that, but at the same time I blame myself for that.

I am a very private person and I don't like to share my business with a lot of people. I am not myself around her like our times during grade school. I often shut myself out and stay in my room to avoid her because sometimes I feel like she doesn't listen to me when I need her to express my feelings or the problems I face on some days, and that's why I shut myself out.

I often think about going to therapy for this, but I don't know if I should or not, because I don't want this to keep happening to me with other friendships or future relationships. Times I think about letting this friendship go and maybe I could feel better, but other times I just want to change my ways and have a positive attitude so we can be close again. I don't know what to do.

Welcome to the boards, alibaba. I'm so sorry that you're feeling like this.

It sounds to me like there are two things going on here: there's how you are feeling about this friendship, and then how you feel more generally about emotionally intimate relationships, and how you are in them.

I feel like the best way to go might be to start by talking some about this friendship and deciding what you want to do about it. For instance, do you want to try and keep it going, and revitalize it, which would probably involve telling your friend the kinds of things you are saying here, and making more effort to open up?