For the sake of sexual knowledge

[_itsmeisa]

Greetings, scarleteen members! I have two questions about sex I'd like to have professional opinions about.

First, can a girl be pregnant if she has unprotected anal sex but the guy withdraws perfectly before ejaculation? Can pre cum around the anus get a girl pregnant?

Second, I feel like my orgasms are more intense and my sexual pleasure is extremely increased when I'm on my period. Everything gets awesome! Is that common? Why does that happen?


Thank you. xx

[Eddie C]

When there's a direct genital contact -- and yes, the anus is part of the genitals -- without any kind of barriers such as condoms, there's always a risk of pregnancy. If the person with the penis didn't ejaculate or withdrew before ejaculations, then the risk is lower. Keep in mind that with or without ejaculation the risk of STI's is still present so being up to date with STI's testing is always the best way to go.

There's no easy way to say what is "common" or not when we talk about sex and sexuality. Seriously, there's no easy way to talk about "common" or "uncommon" with anything. People are different in so many ways and sex is something very personal. Something that you might enjoy could be annoying for someone else so, if you say you have better orgasms when you are on your period then that means this is something that works for YOU. There are some people who report they have better sexual experiences when they are on their periods just as there are other people who say they don't like to even try sex on that time. It might be even possible that you enjoy more sex on your period today but next month you just won't feel like it. As I said before, people are different and even for the same people, likes and dislikes can be different from time to time.

[_itsmeisa]

So I guess fertilization could occur due to unprotected anal sex + withdrawal if precum slided into the vaginal hole, am I right? Well, considering condoms have lubricant on it, I would probably not regret using one if I'm willing to try anal sex with my boyfriend for the first time!

Thank you for the help! Can I ask two more questions, by the way?

First, can a girl get pregnant during her period? I'm just thinking that since I'm not on the pill, it would be my chance to go bareback during the days I'm most sensitive and when pleasure is increased. I'm pretty regular, my period days use to vary only 2 or 3 days every month.

Second, related to anal sex: I'm pretty curious about doing it, but I'm terrified of "something" coming out my body with the penetration motion... ew. Does it usually happen? What can I do not to... poop on my boyfriend?

[Heather]

Hey there, _itsmeisa. Can I ask you, please, to be searching the site before posting, as you (and any other user) agreed to do when registering? We have several pieces on the site, for instance, that talk about pregnancy and periods and answer what you are asking clearly. As you will find out when you do that, going without any method at all, at any time of the cycle, is not advised for people who do not want to become pregnant. Some people chart their fertility as a method, and that can work well, but it involves daily charting, not just knowing when your periods are and guessing around them.

Anal sex will often involve some trace amount of fecal matter, though often not enough for most folks to even notice. As well, given condoms are often used for anal sex -- and it's so important to do that -- plenty of people feel like that answers concerns about that fluid/trace mater. However, taking a bowel movement is not something that is going to just happen accidentally for people who do not have health issues -- like IBS, for instance -- which remove control over defecating.

That said, it's safe to say that if anyone feels like they're not comfortable with that area of their body, or the fluids that are often part of it, then that kind of sex may just not be the thing for them just now.

To boot, given how you continue to be very focused on fears about pregnancy, it seems to me it might benefit you a whole lot more to take some steps BACK from sex, to figure out what you need to feel okay about all of this, before taking any more forward.

[_itsmeisa]

Thank you once more, and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to annoy the staff... Instead of stepping back I'd rather get myself educated and get my doubts soothed so I can enjoy this one thing I love, sex, in a responsible way. I feel way more secure and less anxious asking directly what I need to know, because when it comes to an unwanted pregnancy or STD, I don't want any "what if"s in my head. Please, have in mind that I have never once had sexual education classes nor open talks with my parents. Sorry.

[Heather]

Not about annoying us, just about honoring your end of the agreement and not asking us to do your homework for you! We already have the content you are asking for: taking a few minutes to find it yourself is usually within our user's abilities.

But I said what I did because anal sex, ultimately, carries the highest risks of any sexual activity save blood sharing. So, asking about doing something with the highest risks when someone isn't yet comfortable with less risky activities just generally is not a good way to go. You'd likely do a lot better being more patient with yourself and taking the time to figure out what you need to be comfortable and feel less worried -- and what you need to use to reduce the risks you're scared of, which is why talk of barebacking and anal sex seems like such a wrong turn (which it usually is anyway) -- than trying to leap way forward. Sex isn't going to keep feeling good if we don't feel good about it.

[_itsmeisa]

Oh got it. I will inform myself better before coming to you, since there are more people out there on the board asking for help.

I'm not planning to have anal sex right away, in fact, I haven't talked to my partner about it yet. I just asked to know exactly the safest way to do it when time comes. And oh, blood? Is it supposed to hurt my loins like that?!
Plus, I've read somewhere that you can actually clean your intestines before anal sex by inserting water with a kind of tube... any thoughts about that?

[Sam W]

Again, I read up on what we already have on the site. However, no, if anal sex becomes painful or you start bleeding, then you need to stop, as it's not supposed to hurt (and pain means you did not use nearly enough lube). And I wouldn't recommend using anything to try and "clean out" before hand.