Intersex?????

[AlyxIsKindaCuwl]

I dont know if im intersex or not. I know every clit is different but mine is kinda.....baggy? i dont know how to describe it, but its bigger than the ones you see in porn and stuff, its just not normal. Can anybody help, im scared for my future relashonships if my body will affect it

[Sam W]

Hi Alyx,

So, this is something where we can't give a definite answer because we're not able to see your body, and we're not healthcare providers who could look for other signs that might indicate you're intersex. I will say that if the only thing that's making you think this is the shape of your clitoris, it may be more that what you're experiencing is just genital variation. You're right that all clits are different, and there's actually more variety out there than a lot of people realize, especially if the only point of comparison is porn or other media.

But, I don't want to just dismiss the possibility that you're intersex if you're thinking you might be. Can you give me a sense of how much reading or other information you've gotten about intersexuality? Are there other elements of those experiences that resonate with you and make you think that's something you might be?

When you say you're worried about this affecting future relationships, are you referring specifically to the shape of your genitals, or to the possibility that you may be intersex?

[AlyxIsKindaCuwl]

Dear Sam,
Thank you for bringing to my attention that there are more variations than people realize, because of other media i thought i was not normal, and about the future relationship thing, I just worry about future partners being grossed out about my different genitalia. Thank you for replying
-Alyx

[Sam W]

You're welcome, I'm glad it was helpful!

That fear is actually pretty common, in part because most of us have so few points of comparison for our genitals that we worry that if they don't match the examples we do see (like in porn) it means there's something wrong and our partners will notice. But, a good partner won't care how your genitals look compared to others, because they'll be too busy appreciating the body of you, their partner. It sounds like these two articles might help you (they primarily talk about labia, but there's a lot in them that applies to your feelings as well): Give'em Some Lip: Labia That Clearly Ain't Minor
Vagzilla! (Or, All Genitals Great and Small)

Is there anything else you have questions about right now?